Feminine gay guys: what do they want?

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I don't plan to make this a habit. But his question did make me wonder do feminine gay men strongly want butchess (works for me) or femininity (suffices for many)? Is a simply ordinary gay man outside of your erotic possibilities?

Soft boys rock. I'm a fairly average gay guy, neither "straight-acting" nor effeminate, and over the past ten years or so I have developed a rabid appetite for androgynous men. I'm not sure why - probably because I feel very androgynous myself in my heart, though my exterior doesn't express it. Sadly, this type of guy doesn't seem to be attracted to me - either I'm not butch enough, or not "fabulous" enough. C'est la vive. Nevertheless, I just wanted to put in a positive comment to say, "long live the nancyboys!"

Nancyboys, Soft Boys, Sissyphobia

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I’m extremely attracted to feminine men as well.

But me being a non-op F2M, that isn’t even on Testosterone… I’m purdy much out of luck with them. Even if I was post-op and taking T I don’t think it would make that much of a difference, because I still wouldn’t be masculine. (bi choice) Or if I was masculine, I’d never be a bio male.—-Assuming that is what most feminine guys are attracted to.

I can’t say I know exactly what fem guys want though… but I think it’s safe to say it’s not an androgynous non-op F2M. (unfortunately)

It is probably true that most feminine guy are gay and are attracted to men who seem masculine and strong or mature.

But I do know of a couple of women who’ve had feminine guys as lovers.

Best of luck, Richard

PPPLLEEASSSEE FROM WHAT I SEE THE FEMININE MEN ARE THE MOST HATED NASTY THINGS ON EARTH TO GAY MASCULINE MEN AND ESPECIALLY THE DOSCREET ONES LIKE THE JOCKEY BOYS IN HIGH SCHOOL SURBURBAN AREAS WHO PREFER TO HAVE SEX WITH MASCULINE MEN AND THERE TEAMMATES

OR THE DISCREET HOMO THUGS IN THE URBAN AREAS AND CITIES WHO PREFER TO HAVE SEX WITH MASCULINE MEN AND OTHER THUGS LIKE THEMSELVES

FEMININE MEN TO ME ARE UNLOVED CAUSE THE FACT THEY ARE MEN WHO ACT LIKE WOMAN AND HAVE THE TENDICIES TO BE WORSE THAN WOMAN

Some of the dumb shit I have read today on this forum has been just that, dumb shit! The guy who sort of sends shot outs to mascline men everywhere in the above paragraph, sound like some kind of gay Hitler. Being gay and feminine is what keeps the iron in the fire for most gay boys. They need to be able to constantly associate themselves with the species of woman. You know, “feel like a woman”. There is nothing wrong with it, but I don’t choose those type simply because I know the differece between a woman and a queen and sorcery just isn’t my thing. I also am the type that can enjoy a nice non-feminine guy.

I like all kinds of guys. When it comes to guys that are fem,well, they are great. It is nice to have sex with a small, delicate, and tender guy. It is not fair to say that fem boys are trying to emulate woman. Look, I have nothing against females, but males (even fem. males) are beautiful in their own male way.

I think fem boys have as varied tastes as there are many of them. I bounced around plenty of gender free areas to get to know quite a lot of pretty androgynes of all genders and was happy to discover the variety there really is in the world. I’ve met quite a lot of men who are very feminine and bisexual, some even heterosexual. One should never assume anything =)

Is it such a terrible gesture for a ‘femme’ gay to want an equally ‘femme’ partner?

Not in the least. Many feminine gay men feel that way.

I’m a bi-female and I am attracted to androgynous men..I also like feminine men also..I have a similar problem with women they seem to be only attracted to butch women whereas i am more attracted to the feminine types,but don’t mind butch women it’s just to attraction isn’t there,I wouldn’t never say i won’t become involved with a butch women..Androgenous women are very appealing to me i don’t come across many of those.

Bottomline is this. People are NOT afraid of “in-betweeners”. They simply block it from their consciousness. A girl has breasts, and a man has muscles. Never mind that they have the opposite genetalia. And if you dare to be in between, those people who insist on tolerance for their same sex “biological” needs, will turn on you as if you molested children. I happen to love muscular women. Physical equals. And I abhor implants. The idea of a muscular female with hard pecs makes me crazy. But I like pretty men who meet these conditions to, as long as they can pass. When I express this in chat, nevermind how odd this is, I simply get no response

I’m effeminated and the person who said most masculine gay men dislike effeminate men is 100% true! I’m attracted to masculine men myself, but there aren’t very many masculine men who are interested in me. Maybe 1 out of 10,000, but it’s usually someone who isn’t my own type. Then there’s always the typical, “If I wanted a fem I’d get a woman” insult which I always hear. Another thing I’m really sick of is how masculin egay men think they have the power in society to discrimate me because I’m noticably “gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Not only do I no longer date, I no longer associate with the gay community.

I’m a little effeminant and most of the guys I’ve either talked to or slept with (about 85%) were muscular and very manly. In my encounters, masculine/muscular gay and bisexual men have enjoyed me sexually and in relationships. I am discreet, but very tender and womanish, in looks and in body texture. I’ve NEVER gotten the, “If I wanted a fem Id get a woman insult from anyone. I’m not noticably gay but people tend to think I am because of my tenor pitched voice and my physical figure. I think it all depends on the person. Every experience is different!

I want to respond to the anonymous post from March 16th. I’m a fairly masculine gay guy. Early on, I was only interested in guys who had the same demeanor because if I wanted a fem Id get a woman. But I did date a guy who was more in the middle, and found something very attractive about it. I admit that the flaming queens of the world are still a huge turn-off for me. I guess I would just like to know why some gay guys act feminine. Is there a reason for the limp wrists, extended pinkies, and lisps? I’m sure there is, I just don’t understand myself.

For some guys it is probably learned behavior: they gay guys they meet when the come out act that way, they do likewise to fit it.

Others identify with outrageous (nothing invidious meant) females and take pleasure and pride in similar gestures.

It can also be a defensive shield for guys who have been and fear being hurt.

There must be a host of reasons.

YES ITS TRUE ALOT OF MASCULINE MEN DISLIKE FEMININE MEN THE THUGS IN THE HOOD THAT ARE DISCREET ALOT OF THEM ARE TURNED OFF BY A MAN WHO HAS THE LEAST BIT OF FEMINISM IN HIM…THE JOCKS IN THE SUBURBS ON FOOTBALL TEAMS ARE ALWAYS HAVING SEX WITH EACH OTHER AND DISLIKE THE EFFEMINATE MEN CATERGORY…THE TERM”“IF I WANTED A FEM I,D GET A WOMAN”“IS SAID BECAUSE YOU MUST REALIZE THE WHOLE POINT FOR A DISCREET DL THUG OR A JOCK FROM THE BURBS OR SOME MASCULINE COUNTRY BUMPKIN DUDE FROM THE SOUTH OR THE HICKS TO HAVE SEX WITH MEN IS TO GET AWAY FROM THE EFFEMINATE WAYS OF THE FEMALE AND EXPERIENCED THE MASCULINITY SIDE,FEMININE MEN ARE JUST LIKE WOMAN MANY ARE WORSE THAN WOMAN MOST OF THE MASC OR DISCREET MEN DONT LIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY BASICALLY ARENT MEN THERE MANNERISM IS JUST LIKE A WOMANS FEMINITY WHICH THEY SWAY AWAY FROM A BIT JUST TO EXPERIENCE SEX WITH A KIND OF THERE OWN(MASCULINITY))ALSO MANY MEN GAY AND STRAIGHT BISEXUAL TOO VIEW FEMININE MEN AS DISGUSTING FOR THE SIMPLE FACT A MAN WHO DRESS LIKE A GIRL AND TALKS LIKE ONE AND ACTS LIKE ONE IS A RATHER WEIRD UNATTRACTIVE AND ANNOYING SITE FOR THEM TO SEE

Ok… This is a real Kontroversial AND sensitive issue. Well I am “somewhat inbetween”. Nevertheless, I am a man. I walk as a man I talk as a man I look like a man and I present myself as a man would (and should) Why? Bekause I am one BUT that doesnt mean i dont possess SOME Qualites and maybe even some Kharakteristiks than that of a woman.I was born a man so Naturally it is in my genetik make-up to akt as a maskuline being althoug I was reared around, For the most part, women. Being a man I autmatikally think like one. But by being raised by women I am able to channel my natural state of thinking and utilize it to “tap” into the brain of a man by using methods or the “talents of a woman”. Nevertheless I gets much respekt. TO Komment on what mon ami above me just said on May 7th, I agree. Most men do (DL of kourse) do “kum on ova to the other side” to escape the habitual systematik cykle of being with a woman. BUT I think there is also some truth to what I am about to say. I there are a LOT of these DL or (Str8-akting) guys who enjoy the pleasures and komfort of being with a “feminine” guy, yet they are AFRAID. They are afraid of ruining their “reputation” as well as their lives, which is understandable but I personally DO NOT agree that gay guys who are more feminine should be degraded, underlooked or worse ALIENATED For it. Now yes it my personal opinion, there is a point where the line is krossed but who are WE to pass judgement? NOBODY. But simply, if it’s for you it’s for you. If it’s not, It’s not. But to all those fems out there and there is a man out there who WILL accept U 4 U!!! I know.

Ok i need some seriouse advice. Im going to ask this guy out he seems really nice ( and really cute) But im only a freshman and hes a senior with a good rep. I dont know how to really aproach him or tell him. PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE

Isn’t this question a no-brainer? There’s not only the issue of how far a guy perceived to be femme feels femme, but also vice versa with butch guys. In my experience, many butch guys do have a femme aspect but consider it inconsistent to show it. Femme guys just feel more free to express that aspect of themselves. But the way the gay dating world seems to be more and more polarised - with bars and groups for drag queens, hairy homos, leathermen, BDSM and so on also means that it’s less likely that people can date outside their pigeonholes. Perhaps this explains why like are going more for like these days.

Feminine gay men are usually socially uninhibited which is one of their glories. While I suspect many do want strong ‘daddy’ types others do want similarly pretty, fem guys or simply a humane, kind gay man.

The erotic fragmentaion you see has been part of gay life for decades. Gay people with specialized natures are more free to express it than their straight counterparts who mostly want to seem normal whatever their actual desires.

WELL I KIND OF AGREE WITH PETER THATS KIND OF,ALL MEN GOSSIP LIKE WOMAN AND SOME ARE MUCH WORSE ALOT OF MEN THAT ARE TRULY MASCULINE HAVE FEM QUALITIES BUT THEY DO IT IN SUCH A BUTCH OR MASCULINE MANNER IT DOESNT COME OFF AS FEM.NOW IF YOU TALKING ABOUT STRAIGHT GUYS WHO ARE MASCULINE HIDING THERE LIKINGS OF WANTING TO WEAR HIGH HEELS, I DONT THINK THATS TRUE WITH EVEN A MAJORITY OF THEM, MANY ARE JUST NATURAL MASCULINE MEN….

NOW THE KREYOLE WAY YOUR RIGHT IN A WAY,YOU HAVE ALOT OF D.L GUYS OUT THERE WHO ARE INTO FEMININE MEN I HAVE SEEN IT,THE GAY D.L SENATORS AND DEMOCRATS AND POLITICIANS ARE ALWAYS OUT RIDING IN THERE BMW,S SEARCHING FOR ANYTHING THATS A MAN THATS GAY OR BISEXUAL WHETHER ITS FEM,OR MASC..BUT…

THE MAJORITY OF THE DOWNLOW GUYS ARE NOT INTO FEMININE MEN BECAUSE LIKE THE GUY ABOVE YOUR STATEMENT SAID THEY WADE AWAY FROM THE FEMINISM TO EXPERIENCED SOMETHING AS MASCULINE AS THEM SEXUALLY,I HAVE SEEN SO MANY CLUB FIGHTS WITH NOT JUST FEMS AND GUYS ON THE D,L I HAVE SEEN FIGHTS WITH FEMS AND OPENLY GAY MASCULINE MEN BECAUSE THERE DISLIKE FOR EFFEMINATE MEN.DONT GET IT WRONG THERES SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR EVERYBODY,BUT THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE D.L MEN ARENT INTO FEMININE GUYS THAT STUDY HAS BEEN DONE ENOUGH TIMES TO BE PROVEN FACTUAL…I HAVE MET FEMININE GUYS WHO LIKE THESE D,L THUGS SO MUCH THEY ARE DENIAL MOST OF THEM DONT LIKE EFFEMINATE MEN THEN ARE DISAPPOINTED AND OUTRAGED WHEN APPROACHES ONE AND GETS TURNED AWAY…I MYSELF AM NOT INTO EFFEMINATE GUYS I AM A CONSERVATIVE ABOUT MY SEXUALITY MAN WHO HAS DISAPPOINTED A MANY OF EFFEMINATE MEN WHO HAVE APPROACHED ME IN A CLUB,SOME GET ANGRY(WHICH I DONT CARE)SOME JUST SAY WELL OK AND MOVE ON

I like effeminate men as well. Sometimes I don’t think I’m gay, because I’m totally not interested in masculine men, hairy men, construction workers, muscleheads…straight guys at all. But a sissy, GAWD sends me. A cute guy in drag sends me. Ballet dancers send me. Boys in dance tights or panty hose send me. Queens and flamers fascinate me. All my boyfriends have been androygenous or effeminate, two were into crossdressing. I like girls too, but I could never really fall in love with one…or share an intimacy. What pisses me off, is women and gays say…he’s ‘afraid’ of women. Noooo….I just don’t like fishy-stinky women, nor do I have any interests in one. YES femmes rule! They are the best…they have a sensitivity and creativity and emotionality that women can’t match. According to this forum, I’m not the only one who has tastes like this. I wish I could find my dream doll! But most effeminate gay guys don’t even look at me, or maybe don’t think I’m interested? Why?

I,M SORRY BUT I AM NOT INTO FEMS AT ALL BLACK WHITE SPANISH WHATEVER I DONT LIKE THEM..I RESPECT ALL WHO RESPECTS ME BUT MANY OF THEM ARE WORSE THAN WOMAN THERESELVES,THEY BYTCH ABOUT STRAIGHTS BASHING THEM YET THEY BASH EACH OTHER WHEN OUTSIDE A CLUB ABOUT TO FIGHT OVER SOME GUY THEY THINK IS A THUG OR MASCULINE BUT IS NOTHING BUT A FEM IN THUG CLOTHING OR MASCULINE CLOTHING,,,I AGREE WITH SOMEONE WHO SAID MOST MASCULINE MEN AND THE DL THUGS ON THE LOW DONT LIKE FEMININE DUDES,SOME FEM DUDES TEND TO BE IN DENIAL OF THIS TALKING THE”THE TRADES LIVE FOR THE FEMS”I OF COURSE BRING THEM BACK TO REALITY I,M LIKE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THE FEMS LIVE FOR THE TRADES BUT THE TRADES DONT LIVE FOR THEM FEMS THEY LIVE FOR EACH OTHER AND IT SICKENS YOU THEY GET HEATED WANNA ARGUE BECAUSE THERE CONSCIENCE EATS THEM BECAUSE DOWN INSIDE THEY KNOW ITS THE TRUTH,I AM MASCULINE MAN WITH A THUG APPEAL THATS BISEXUAL AND I WAS ON A CHATLINE TALKING TO ANOTHER MASCULINE DL GUY THE FEM GUY GETS MAD AND IS LIKE I,M TIRED OF THESE HARD ASS MASCULINE MEN HOLLERING AT EACH OTHER ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A THUG AND A FEMMIE BOY NOT TWO HARD ASS MASCULINE MEN THATS SO NASTY ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT!THE DUDE AND I LAUGHED AND WAS LIKE THAT SCENERARY YOUR TALKING BARELY EXIST AND IS RATHER DISGUSTING WE PREFER MEN LIKE OURSELVES OR HARDER,,,NO DISRESPECT TO FEMMIES LIVE YOUR LIFE DO YOU BUT I AM JUST NOT INTO THEM 1 PERCENT..THEN SOME WILL GET ANGRY AT THE TRUTH AND TRY AND MAKE YOU SEEM LIKE A FEMMIE ALONG WITH THEM JUST BECAUSE THERE LONELY AND MISERY AND MISERY LOVES COMPANY KNOWING DAMN WELL YOUR NOT FEM THEY WILL TRY AND CONSIDER YOU ONE LIKE THEMSELVES KNOWING THEY AINT..THESE TYPE OF BULLSHIT ATTITUDES ALOT OF THEM CARRY CAUSES THEM TO BE BASHED,HATED,OR KILLED.

Not sure why you keep coming back and posting under different names. Sure wish you’d abandon the annoying habit of using all caps.

there are all kinds of homosexuals in the Gay community instead of deciphering which is more exceptable we should celebrate the diversity. if it wasnt for the diversity i doubt the gay community would have gotten to the level we are at now.

richard evans i know you were talking to muah because this is my first freaking time to this site just because i typed in caps like the other men on here does not mean that is me i have a life and it doesnt involve pretending to be someone else giving a view,so lets not assume cause thats a fem trait also

I’ve read all of these comments and I am very disturbed. If you are not into fem men, fine! However whether DL, masculine, bi,butch or queen,NOONE has the right to discriminate against noone else! Dl consider themselves not gay, str8 acting(which is what it is acting)want a str8 acting man,so on and so forth…..I have been slightly effeminate from youtj to adulthood, and I have been discreet and considerate of others…men sleeping with men is just what it is a homosexual experience…so it does not matter what or who you are and how you do what you do. If you were brave enough to allow people to know who you sleep with (DL and str8 acting0 they would still label you as a bunch of faggots…so stop all of this crazy talk….if you do’nt like something,fine , but tey and understand, God made no two people alike, even twins are different..this is what makes the world.

I think you’re all sad. You should be supportive of each other, not PICKING on each other. Who ru to say “fems r annoying, weird etc”??

There ARE Men out there who fancy them and I know many so FUCK YOU. My friend is fem and I love him dearly. I’d not DREAM of saying things that many of u have just 4 the reason that if a Fem read it he’d feel awful. Show some RESPECT.

Fems ARE loved and ARE cool and you should all get a life and leave ‘em alone. As far as i’m concerned, there is NO ISSUE here. Live and let live - everyone is different. U should NOT be analysing each other with theories. Ur sad.

U should let people get on with their lives and do the same yourselves. You ppl r very sad.

Here’s my thing: I’m 22 and quite feminine in looks and actions. HOWEVER, I am told DAILY by different people how gorgeous I am, and how pretty my face is. Now, with the exception of my sculpted brows, I was born with these features. I DO NOT ENHANCE THEM WITH MAKEUP! However, many guys still seem to think I’m not “straight acting” enough. WHY SHOULD WE BE?! We’re GAY people!!! How many gay-acting STRAIGHT guys do u see?!?! Most of the guys that only want “straight actors” are very uncomfortable in their own lives, and not yet ready to accept their homosexuality. Sad, but true. :-)

There are plenty of straight-acting gay men. I?m one myself. Every since I was a gay boy I?ve always preferred gay guys who strike the average person as feminine. But never wanted to make one a ?woman.?

Many gay men are desperate to fit into heterosexual society. They want to be pathetically normal. So the despise gay men who don?t meet their own ideal of conformity: sissyphobia it is called.

As a pretty boy I can?t help but feel that you must meet men who like the way you look. Admittedly the majority are looking for gymbots.

There?s nothing wrong with guys who do wear makeup. I hope you don?t disapprove of them.

I’m feminine, but I don’t go out of my way to tell every single person I meet that I’m gay! I don’t have gay pride stickers all over my car, I don’t wear makeup up, panties, and bras, or pluck my eye brows to form an arch, I don’t like glittery clothes like many others do so those are all stereotypes. In fact I dislike other effeminate gay men myself! But I know masculine gay men dislike me because I’m feminine. Most won’t even acknowledge me. It seems to me effeminate gay men are a completely different indentity!

Does anyone know where to find guys who like fem guys? I can’t find any online! Everyone wants masculine men!

Tommy,

There are gay men (like myself) who like feminine gay guys. I met the one I live with online. Took lots of patience for us to find each other.

I’m closing this entry. I invite you to look at my long entry of feminine gay men: Nelly gay guys (and the history of my love for them)

As a “fem” gay guy, I’ll admit that most of the “jock” gay guys don’t take most interest in the feminine ones.

However, with straight guys and bisexual guys, that’s different. I’ve attracted a number of those without trying lol.

It basically just boils down to taste. Granted, fem looking gay guys are always associated with being queens/divas/etc. I for one may look like one, but that’s definitely not my personality. I think I’ve got a pretty relaxed, drama free personality. My friends could all tell you that I’m not a drama queen, nor do I conduct myself like a flamer, even though I may dress flamboyant at times. I happen to know I look better in girl jeans than guy jeans based on my body type, etc. I just have an androgynous look, so I like to work with what I’ve got. That shouldn’t be the reason I, or any other feminine gay guy, faces criticism for.

I think we’re just happy with who we are, and we’re not afraid to be expressive about that fact. Seriously, at the end of the day, you’re still sucking dick just like me and the rest of the fem guys.

I do think we need more unity amongst our community, but that’s my perspective. I don’t have any issue with any realm of the gay community. I just don’t like people who hate on obviously gay, fem looking guys. That’s just our thing—get over it.

Feminine gay guys are just part of this big melting pot which includes straight, bi, gay, lesbian, transgendered and what have You under the sun. What we need to understand is we are all different and have diverse beliefs, backgrounds dreams and desires. If i want to wear whatever makes me feel good and maybe even pretty that should be my right and i or anyone else shouldn’t be chastisized for their choice of expression wether it be extremely butch or femme. i thought this of all places is the “land of the free and home of the brave” We shouldn’t be afraid to be who we are and should be “free” to live our lives as we deem fit.

I agree with all that propose that each is entitled to their tastes.

As a bi-sexual quite masculine person, in same-sex relationships, I find myself ONLY attracted to androgynous or femme guys. It is not about wanting them to be “like a girl” so much as me appreciating someone who is my opposite. For example, as a stocky muscular body type, it appeals to me to be with a thin androgynous type with pretty delicate features and meticulous attention to dress, hair and adornments. In my experience, openly femme or androgynous guys also have an artistic/creative/free-spirited personality which also is refreshing. It makes me want to pamper and spoil such a guy. Sexually I have also found my “top” preference fiting in nicely with the “bottom” persona of many femmes.

I wish there more out there or they were easier to find. I also believe that many boys would love to be more femme but don’t due to current stigmas in the gay community.

I’m a very masculine guy, so much so, in fact, I had very rare encounters over many years, and none went anywhere until I discovered my calling….guys meant to be girls. I am masculine, in all senses of the word, and for the busted spirited, nasty, confused and week-assed sell-out sho hate feminine guys, they only want masculine guys because they are effeminate (not in a natural way like fem. guys, but in a closeted way) & afraid to be what they are. You’d think they’d live and let live, especially when someone doesn’t bother/harm them ( sound like the very same argument they use when haggled by heteros..?). They want someone who can pass as str8 because they are weak inside, and need a man to fill a man’s shoes, and they want to be able to hide in plain site. I’ve got the finest girly-boy on earth, with everything from soul to body, and i don’t need any fucking masculine guy to protect me, or to help me hide in plain site. AS I STATED, MOST GAYS HATE FEM. GUYS BECAUSE THEY’RE AFRAID OF A PREJUDICIAL SOCIETY, AND THEY’VE SOLD OUT TO FEAR. I’M A REAL MAN, A FORMER SEMI-PRO MMA FIGHTER, STREET-FIGHTER ( NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF; SIMPLY STATING FOR REFERENCE), A DADDY, AND OUTRIGHT RAW AND MANLY IN MOST OF MY ENDEAVORS, AND JUST BECAUSE THAT’S ME, AND NOT TO PROVE ANYTHING, AND I AM LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A UNICORN BECAUSE SO MANY WEIRD AND WEAK GAYS OUT THERE JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT FEAR COSTS THEM… SIGNED: MMADirtyWhiteBoy ( A real and lucky man, to have boy who shoulda been a girl…)

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Feminine gay guys: what do they want?.
Thanks,
Richard

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