See more » Ambiguously Gendered
Even though I’m pissed at Yahoo for removing firstname.lastname@example.org I still use a My Yahoo page (one day I should create my own portal page, save a fair amount of time). Today I noticed that it said “Welcome back, DurhamKinkTop.” Not something I’d want Charles to see.
So I checked to see which of my other Yahoo accounts still existed. I’d almost forgotten ILikeNellyGuysDurham. It was last created and least used. I mostly posted on Yahoo under my real name. ILikeNellyGuysDurham existed only to catch the eye some local soft guy who might be skimming through profiles and interests. It had the least spam so I figured I’d use it instead of DurhamKinkTop (after removing “Single and looking”).
I’ve always been fond of the word nelly. Likely because in my early days of being out I came to associate it with lovely, gentle boys. And I’d learned on AOL the dangers of using ‘fem’. That drew too many make me wear panties guys. (I’ve never been a fan of any kind of underwear, a blind spot.)
Charles discovered my DurhamKinkTop nom de predominance when he logged on to AOL from my computer within a few days of moving in with me. Understandably he felt the frisson of what have I gotten myself into?
So I did my best to explain to him that my sexuality is alive to arrangement of genitalia and kind of play that exists; too abstract and too alien for the narrowly sexed to find comforting. He took my word for it and we moved past it.
Since Yahoo started charging for its personal ads they advertise them a lot. Charles got a little unnerved the time he saw “Men Looking For Women” at the top of a Yahoo page until I told him it was an ad, that I wasn’t out shopping for his replacement.
Charles doesn’t feel threatened that I lived with a woman for five years anymore. His comfort was slow in coming, took about a year. So I don’t want to spook him.
If he sees ILikeNellyGuysDurham at the top of the page he’ll see something that brought us together. He met plenty of the people who don’t like ‘em.