Transgendered, Transvestite, Transsexual

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This might read defensively, it is intended as a clarification. A few variously gendered folks are glancing at my weblog. I try to be scrupulous enough to not sound ignorant of diversity encompassed by the word 'transgendered.' Though I don't have any bona fides to establish I'll ramble as though I do. I've been spoiled by my few years on Live Journal where people have read my journal often enough to know me well.

Certified stud

Much of my life as a sexual person I've thought of myself as a male without a strong sense of personal gender. Eventually I realized that might be partially true but that I do also see myself as masculine. At nineteen I left the top button of my shirt open so boys could see my hairy chest.

After many shifts, lapses, changes and failures I discovered that I am indifferent to bodily gender. And gender is not binary. I was slow in discovering this. I remember more than once lusting after a guy in a dress. But if you'd suggested the idea in the abstract I would've shuddered. It wouldn't be until quite sometime that I'd lived with a genetic female that everything coalesced.

I began to learn about the varieties of social and biological gender and see that for me each is equally lustworthy and lovable. I went from queer to bisexual to pansexual (without ever being will to surrender the status of queerness.)

In Drag paperback

Most transvestites are or feel that they are heterosexual. Some are homophobic, whether fear of guilty by association with gay crossdressers or closet cases I don't wish them well. The rest I don't care about.

Gay crossdressers range from men who would like to live as a woman but have no desire for sex reassignment surgery. Others like the finest guy I know but have never met are happily men of two worlds: happy to be male, happy to dress as a woman. Some don't like the word crossdresser, other despise transvestite. A few militantly call themselves drag queens. I try to remember who cares and who doesn't.

My own definition of a transsexual is anyone who feels that their genetic gender differs from their true biological gender. For me if a person born a male wants to become a physical female she is transsexual. Some people, how many we can only guess, don't possess the courage. Others can afford hormones but not the other medical expenses. The lucky ones are able to make a full transition to the body makes wholly who they are. While women in any sense that matters they are transsexuals in that they have their inner history of having to achieve their physical womanhood.

A fine human being

There are all manner of petty hierarchies and cat fights that I don't care about. I've talked with crossdressers who hate 'transies.' Mostly they mean the per-op transsexuals who work as prostitutes. Sometimes that is what it takes to pay for the surgeries. (Since a "chick with a dick" dominatrix can command high fees some probably choose to remain that way for the money.) Some post-ops sneer at pre-ops as not being 'real.' I have no interest in those heartless controversies.

And there are the deliberate hermaphrodites. People who choose to remain permanently pre-op because they find the greatest satisfaction in having the qualities of both sexes. A couple who've written me have called themselves the "third sex."

Intersexuals suffer from being chased by "transy" chasers who think they are hermaphrodites in the sense of the pretty classical statues and paintings. I've never communicated much with intersexuals folk. After reading about their conditions and realizing they were just as lovable as anyone else I haven't given them much thought. I did recently see someone using the phrase "nelly interesexual" so I guess there are butch ones as well. I don' know anything.

There are the sweet nelly boys and andros some of whom just swish, others who wear makeup. And the people who prefer to celebrate their gender ambiguity: wearing some attire of the opposite genetic sex, role-playing a little.

There's a vast continua of social and biological gender. While I often celebrate the whole of it I do know that the individual has their particular world point that fits their self-definition. If I sometimes seem to blur them all together it is my sentiment, not careless neglect of their individuality.

Comments

Well stated - but it leaves me with a [bitchy?] question - partly out of curiosity, partly to satisfy my “devil’s advocate” nature ;) :

What are your thoughts on f2m “transies”??

Beautifully put together indeed, Richard. If only science and doctors were this sensitive towards the issue, too. We are so wrapped up in categorizations set by them that I’m afraid sometime in the future gender will be a part of the everyday introduction [“Hi! I’m Sal, I’m a genetic born female with bisexual tendencies leaning more towards the lesbian side, can you pass the salt?”]

While you weren’t my note’s “onlie begetter” you did prompt me to finally write.

Pending Utopia labels are a necessary tool as well as evil. I’m too tired from work to do more than repeat the old saw about remembering the map isn’t the territory. I try to do that. I use ‘Ambiguously Gendered” as one of the categories on my weblog in an effort to be as nonspecific as possible. Even though I know that some of the people that I talk about there have an unambiguous gender identity.

i’m an andro, and one of the few that really ID as andro. i was born XY, but seem to have some hormonal “abnormalities”, so that i don’t grow body/leg/arm hair or develop muscle mass, even if i work out. Everyone seems to want to ID as something: straight/gay/bi… ftm, mtf, top/bottom. i hate having to ID as something just so that people can categorize me. i am NOT gay… i like to have sex with my friends, most of whom just HAPPEN to be males. i am not straight, even though i have been married twice. i don’t cross-dress.. i just happen to wear a lot of women’s clothes and makeup. Girls jeans fit me better and make my bottom look cuter. And eyeliner makes my eyes look more alluring. It all feels perfectly normal for me. i wish it were normal for E/everyone else and T/they wouldn’t make such a big deal out of it.

jimmy:

Well you do use the word “andro” for yourself.

The use of labels isn’t to define yourself but to communicate to others something about yourself. Sometimes you just need those nouns with adjectives in front.

Though, from what you’ve said it sounds like you are doing exceptionally well.

I turly love being with a women in every way, but on my own time I love wearing womens clothes. I like to think I have the best of both worlds I can make love to a women and still put on a nice skirt an go out and be comfortable. I turely like having a mans world and a womens world

I have been married for 9 years but I have this issue when my wife is not around I enjoy wearing her clothes espeacially her silky and lacey clothes and pretend that I am a female . As a child I thought of nothing but having a sex change . I feel that part of me is female and yearns to become whole . Now lately I am finding myself being attracted to men on the masculine side. Is there any thing I can do to stop these urges so that I can continue to be straight ?? Ill check back to this site for comments , thank you .

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Transgendered, Transvestite, Transsexual.
Thanks,
Richard

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