Transgendered, Transvestite, Transsexual
See more » Ambiguously Gendered
This might read defensively, it is intended as a clarification. A few variously gendered folks are glancing at my weblog. I try to be scrupulous enough to not sound ignorant of diversity encompassed by the word 'transgendered.' Though I don't have any bona fides to establish I'll ramble as though I do. I've been spoiled by my few years on Live Journal where people have read my journal often enough to know me well.
Much of my life as a sexual person I've thought of myself as a male without a strong sense of personal gender. Eventually I realized that might be partially true but that I do also see myself as masculine. At nineteen I left the top button of my shirt open so boys could see my hairy chest.
After many shifts, lapses, changes and failures I discovered that I am indifferent to bodily gender. And gender is not binary. I was slow in discovering this. I remember more than once lusting after a guy in a dress. But if you'd suggested the idea in the abstract I would've shuddered. It wouldn't be until quite sometime that I'd lived with a genetic female that everything coalesced.
I began to learn about the varieties of social and biological gender and see that for me each is equally lustworthy and lovable. I went from queer to bisexual to pansexual (without ever being will to surrender the status of queerness.)
Most transvestites are or feel that they are heterosexual. Some are homophobic, whether fear of guilty by association with gay crossdressers or closet cases I don't wish them well. The rest I don't care about.
Gay crossdressers range from men who would like to live as a woman but have no desire for sex reassignment surgery. Others like the finest guy I know but have never met are happily men of two worlds: happy to be male, happy to dress as a woman. Some don't like the word crossdresser, other despise transvestite. A few militantly call themselves drag queens. I try to remember who cares and who doesn't.
My own definition of a transsexual is anyone who feels that their genetic gender differs from their true biological gender. For me if a person born a male wants to become a physical female she is transsexual. Some people, how many we can only guess, don't possess the courage. Others can afford hormones but not the other medical expenses. The lucky ones are able to make a full transition to the body makes wholly who they are. While women in any sense that matters they are transsexuals in that they have their inner history of having to achieve their physical womanhood.
There are all manner of petty hierarchies and cat fights that I don't care about. I've talked with crossdressers who hate 'transies.' Mostly they mean the per-op transsexuals who work as prostitutes. Sometimes that is what it takes to pay for the surgeries. (Since a "chick with a dick" dominatrix can command high fees some probably choose to remain that way for the money.) Some post-ops sneer at pre-ops as not being 'real.' I have no interest in those heartless controversies.
And there are the deliberate hermaphrodites. People who choose to remain permanently pre-op because they find the greatest satisfaction in having the qualities of both sexes. A couple who've written me have called themselves the "third sex."
Intersexuals suffer from being chased by "transy" chasers who think they are hermaphrodites in the sense of the pretty classical statues and paintings. I've never communicated much with intersexuals folk. After reading about their conditions and realizing they were just as lovable as anyone else I haven't given them much thought. I did recently see someone using the phrase "nelly interesexual" so I guess there are butch ones as well. I don' know anything.
There are the sweet nelly boys and andros some of whom just swish, others who wear makeup. And the people who prefer to celebrate their gender ambiguity: wearing some attire of the opposite genetic sex, role-playing a little.
There's a vast continua of social and biological gender. While I often celebrate the whole of it I do know that the individual has their particular world point that fits their self-definition. If I sometimes seem to blur them all together it is my sentiment, not careless neglect of their individuality.