Unrealized sexuality: hermaphrodites
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My friends on Live Journal and who read Pansexual Sodomite have castigated me for expressing overmuch nicety for certain aspects of my sexual appetites. I'll cast aside my respectful hesitancies and express just lust.
If I could relive my youth again and know where my sexuality would take me I would've had sex with a guy with breasts or a woman with a penis. Can't say whether the distinction between the two would be in their or my mind. OK, probably mine, I'm too acutely alive to the nuances of gender quality. Transgendered people are understandably focused on the specifics of their own sexuality.
Why? What is the beauty I see in the androgyne?
I enjoy all gender qualities. Often I writhe against the merely one or the other. My lust seeks someone who embodies both (in so many different wonderful ways) and who for me (if not him/her self) strides above either.
My fantasy ideal would be a lovely young man with breasts. Had I understood myself at a young enough age it might be a genetic male who was striving to become the woman he felt himself to truly be. Way back he'd have probably been tawdrily painted, living in a slumlord's apartment. However I might have meant to be in my lust would've led me to take possession of this creature (sounds like a damn bad poem but I him/her isn't appealing).
My fantasy hermaphrodite would be happy with its breasts and penis. Probably she'd have only cared about being playfully forced and centered her sexuality in her anus. Maybe lovingly but with unknowing selfishness I'd have accepted what was so hungrily offered.
Nowadays there are coolly self-created hermaphrodites, shemales in the land of porn and less aware lust. When I was young and would've been much more able to have what I wanted they were mostly weaker. Certainly less aware.
(Um, does this satisfy you folks who find my empathy a sign of Puritanism?)