My Essential Nature
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Last night I dreamed that my friend Frank Kessler revealed the truth about my essential self to my father. Now Frank is a kind and human man, not at all given to gossip or tattling. And my father had long since been put in his grave when I met Frank. I can’t assign any symbolic qualities to his presence.
At first my father seemed to take the information imparted surprisingly well. Slowly he became increasingly erratic, eventually frightening. I decided that I needed to move (to Manhattan naturally).
What was the horrifying revelation? Not my sexuality. That actually happened and it wasn’t pretty. I don’t know what it was that so shook my father.
Often I have felt that there are parts of my inner life best left unshared. Perceptions that would spook people. So I have my masks. Nothing of which I’m ashamed but seem best unspoken.