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After the recent worrisome visit by the Durham police about "drug activity" in my back yard I thought a moment about putting up No Trespassing! signs.
As if winos and drug dealers would honor them.
The funniest no trespassing sign I've seen here in Durham was nailed to a man's front door. He had no yard in which one could dally trespassing. It seemed to say don't kick my door in and steal my stuff. Given the troubled intersection at which he lived that may have been a recurrent problem. The house has been available for purchase for years. Likely will be for many years to come. His little corner isn't apt to see gentrification for some decades if ever. Again, though, no crack-crazed malefactor is going to be held by plea bought at Home Depot.
When I made a hurried move to Durham so I could live in the same town as the used bookshop I owned I lived for a time in an apartment complex. None of the residents were very complex. Nothing could seem less enjoyable than socializing with my fellow tenants. The apartments were owned by the store's landlord. He was a trial attorney, a huge jolly man you might think had been born to insure that someone embodying the stereotype of a corrupt southern attorney (as far as I know he is honest). He'd populated the place with his clients, redneck simpletons all. One of them visited one evening and said I'm not sure what but it at great length.
On our shared dumpster one of them had spray painted TOWOZONE! It was as much a lie as it was illiterate. You could park anywhere with impunity.
Long ago on Piedmont Avenue in Atlanta there was an inner city redneck who had a wooden sign hanging from a chain blocking ingress to his back yard: PRIVET KEEP OUT! No speedfreak or junkie would've honored his sign but he did afford the neighborhood an easy laugh.
When I think of No Trespassing signs I always picture some lower middleclass Republican who puts vote, well this year it'll be Bush/Cheney, political posters a yard he's surrounded by chain link fence. Nobody wants to snitch his cheap lawn furniture. But when he isn't relaxing with rightwing talk radio and a beer he's furiously worrying about the people who are out there ready to do … well he doesn't know what but he won't like it. Possibly increase his taxes and spend them on taking care of the needy instead of buying more bombs.
So I won't be posting any no trespassing signs in my little parcel of Northgate Park.