Diminished Conversations

i have lost a great deal of faith in words. i am at a point in my life where i want to see action. not lip service. i guess that alone filters out a lot of internet activity for me. although it is unfair to gauge future correspondences on previous ones, i often can’t help thinking about long, florid, passionate, involved letters received, promising the world. words are to action what computer generated imagery is to reality. sure, it looks fantastic, but it’s no substitute for elegance and simplicity of action.

You are thinking about conducting romance over the web I think. As I’ve come to know more people online I’ve come to realize how many people have those same passionate conversations with seemingly kind and romantic souls who never live up to their words.

On the web the kind of conversations that I had in mind would’ve been like in the days on FBFV. Sometimes we all talked at length without expecting more than the conversation. Much less that any of us would actually meet the others.

There were a couple of men whom I developed very intense and lasting relationships with, before I met you. Both of these friendships involved sexual attraction and lots of words. No, actually, make that three.

I dread to think what the first two guys were actually like in real life. One of them was certainly attractive to me. Looking back it mostly seemed that it was a good outlet for me but was doomed from the offset.

I think exchanging words via writing is fun, and is good for the brain. I like experimenting and playing with the usage of words. Unfortunately all the music forums I hung out on and all of my internet friendships just sort of shrivelled up in the space of a year. I think to many people foruming and emailing is no longer as voguey as it perhaps used to be. Certainly with music communities, there was a huge dip in interest. Also, it may have been that I kind of shut down and stopped doing it as much, possibly as I was working on myself.

In terms of our own internet communication, I hope we can slowly/continually raise the quality of it, while need be. But in just a few days none of this will matter :)

Sendy

Well, I guess I’m talking about online romances too. Actually this view of discenchantment came about after my traveling best friend and I went through weeks and weeks of colleagues “blowing us off.” Nonstop promises to meet, write, call all ended up with nonstop lengthy excuses of why nothing materialized. The way I see it, if someone has already wasted my time by agreeing to do something and failing to come through, the very last thing I need is more of my time wasted on explanations of why something didn’t happen.

i tend to spend less time online, but i am trying to update more often on my site. there’s still some good conversations once in a while, reminiscient of FBFV.

i may be in the minority, but when i “talk” to people online, it is always with the intention that we will meet in person eventually, whether it is in the role of casual friend or lover.

Way back I was very focused on meeting local people that I’d talked with. And met Charles.

But never really thought about meeting distant folks: don’t drive and the store required more of my attention back then (often went in on my days off to deal with computer problems).

I think you were the only person that I really wanted and hoped to meet. And I did back out of a couple of early opportunities. Because of Charles.

There are probably about a dozen people I communicate steadily with and offhand don’t know that I’d be anxious to meet them. But they are all people I share some very specific interest with and it is purely a hobby thing.