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Another page from a few years ago. One of my first attempts to describe myself when my website was a giant personal ad. Possibly the page I was least happy with. These are just personal jottings and it is tough to talk about individuation without sounding guilty of pretention.
People so ingenuous that they seem absurd. And so absurd that they seem disingenuous.*
(I'm not happy with this page at all. Will try to come back to it.)
As many of us as we grow up are so displeased with the world that we go into a funk. We feel alienated, often bitter. The world doesn't seem logical or fair. This violent annoyance with mankind separates from most people, particularly from mass culture.
And this sense of aloneness gives us the illusion of being singular. We may be less common but we aren't unique. There are billions of people alive. And people have been thinking and feeling for thousands of years.
What is really at work is a sense of disappointment. Our expectations have been dashed. We resent it.
This made me very misanthropic. It is only in recent years that I've managed to develop enough feeling and understanding to stop hating the great mass of people. I don't particularly like them. But I've managed to become milder, something I once swore I'd never allow to happen.
Since I don't really believe in evil it was foolish of me to blame people for what I perceived as evil. Besides they aren't sitting around chortling like a super villain in a comic book. Their understanding of things is so limited as to be crippled. And they have a clue as to the implications of the things they say and do.
But I do allow myself to despise the intolerant. Maybe a few others as well but I don't want to dwell on this part of myself.
On the surface I'm pretty conventional. But when you assemble on the inner components I'm not. It isn't something that I can sum up with a few neat formulae.
It is not something that I'm proud of. Not that I regret it. But people who brag that they are 'weird' are generally pretty ordinary. They may have a taste or two that is on the uncommon side (although in a world of billions & billions of people that is rarely meaningful). But they may not even be that. Star Trek fans are known for thinking themselves unusual. If that were true Trek wouldn't be a billion dollar industry.
There are much more obscure tastes that even if they aren't part of network television and newspaper versions of normality are shared by enough people that companies are devoted to satisfying them. I benefit from that myself since I like lots of music that would be unavailable if there were entrepreneurs (and sometimes major corporations) serving niche markets.
Hmmm. Got off on a tangent didn't I? I have real propensity for digressions. Normally I keep it under control on these pages.
Anyway I'm not trying to impression you with my singular nature. Maybe if we might I'll strike you as plain and conventional as a McDonalds cheeseburger (yuck!).
It is always worth saying: we are divided into at least two classes. People who absorb their information about the world and who derive all of their entertainment from television. If that describes you I don't think we'll have anything in common.
* G.K. Chesteron