Make First Tuesday a Holiday

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I'd expected to watch election returns on Comedy Central. To my chagrin (have you ever heard anybody speak that word aloud?) they are rerunning a Chevy Chase movie.

Maybe more people would vote (not that I did*) if the first Tuesday in November were a Holiday.

In the spirit of Halloween you could go up to people's door and yell "Republican or Democrat?" If the householder were of the wrong political faith you could wrap his home in toilet paper and soap his windows.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving invite those of the opposite party to a feast and stuff them with so much food that in their stupefied satiation they can't make it to the polls.

The spirit of Christmas could be the spirit of Chicago. Give folks presents if they'll vote your way. (Likewise in the Chicago spirit you would resurrect dead voters to vote for your candidate.)

In the spirits of New Year's Day get everybody drunk enough to vote the way you want them to.

I don't think that Easter has anything for us.

April Fool's Day: damn, we're already doing that one.

* I've only voted once. It was to defeat a homophobic referendum on the California ballot. I'm beginning to feel a need to vote. My picayune (see chagrin above) reason for not doing so is the belief that registered voters comprising the list of jury pool members. Being a modern guy I'd rather moron's hell break loose than have my idleness interrupted.

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