Mourning the loss of a friend

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Mourning is tedious, draining. Thankfully I’m mostly past the deep stage.

The word heartache has acquired concreteness and vividness. Sometimes I feel a dead spot in my chest. It seems to seep out, slowly passing along my nervous system until my entire body feels leaden. When this happens at work I wish I could lie down on the floor.

I sometimes miss him the most when there is some minor bit of gossip I could share only with him.

Charles could be awful but he was one of the few people who genuinely mattered to me. Irreplaceable.


i have loss 2 good friends in my was like a sister to me and the other seemed to be the perfect person to talk to, about whatever. Both tragic losses and i was young. i have never felt such emptiness in my life. I closed up as a person and now i cant open up to anybody.. i would give anything to see them once more. All i want is someone to talk to..someone who listens..

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