How to Make a Boring Gay Horror Movie

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You know those rather dull slasher movies in which college students go to a party only to find there's a slasher out to knock them off one by one?

What if those hetero teens were gay?

Wow! What a concept!

Like Hellbent.

I should've known better. I'd have been satisfied if any of three conditions were met:

  • The movie was better than generic in pacing
  • The film was quirky or individual
  • That the characters sexual orientation added some value

The dramatic power of Hellbent is best called neutered. It was as thrilling as a connect the dots book. I never felt up or down, involved or much interested. The myserious maniac had a big slicing thing so the deaths were never novel or inventive.

The actors had all the charm of stock footage. Given the supply of unemployed actors there was probably a pool of equally able men they could've hired. But I won't fault the actors. It takes exceptional gifts to weave something from nothing.

Aside from the gay venue the queer pop culture qualities of Hellbent were zero.

It made me wish the movie had started with 10 Years Earlier ... and see a chubby gay fleeing from a gay bar after being rejected by a hunk. Or some limp-wristed lad being laughed at by jocks for being a "fag."

Hellbent offers slasher movie fans just another notch on the checklist. And gay men can pat themselves on the back for being offered generic entertainment just like straight people.

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