So, You Want To Be A Lesbian?

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The silliest title we sold last week was So You Want To Be A Lesbian? : A Guide for Amateurs and Professionals. Sounds like a question asked by a distrait mother after her daughter has come out.

As alien as they are to me I don't mind most coming to grips with your queerness books. Whenever I ship one I feel like adding an encouraging note to the your book is in the mail notice.

Maybe we'll be seeing Queer for Dummies. Exploring important topics like "Dockers, Bannana Republic or the Gap?" "Gin and Tonic: does it make you look sophisticated or like an old maid?"

30 Days to a More Powerful Gay Vocabularly complete with mirror exercises practising saying "Get over it girl" and "Oh Mary!"

Oh well, straight people have their own silly books.

My other pop culture encounter last week was being offered while looking at CDs online the chance to buy Cooking With Porn Stars. Sounds like a real diet aid.

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HA! I want to write Queer for Dummies. There’d have to be a chart, for the gay slang pronunciation in each region of the country. In New York they say “fee-yus” in Pittsburgh they say, “feers” here in DC, we just say “fierce.” I wonder what the queens in SF say. I guess DC is sufficiently homogenized that we actually pronounce words like the dictionary says. Then there’d be the chapter on “When being cunty is an insult and when it’s not.” Also, “What to do when the closest your town can come to cosmopolitan is the cocktail.”

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