Death I think will seem like drowning as sand is poured in my lungs. That isn’t as stark as it seems. So often I’ve envisioned my death as much, much worse.
I always kind of hope I won’t know that I’m dying when I die - that it’ll just seem like an emergency and then I’ll be dead. No time to think “Is this it?”
How can anything be worse than drowning in sand, that’s a horrifying image. :( I’m terrified of death and have been since I was a kid. I had one of those sudden mortality moments when it dawned on me that as an organic entity I had to die at some point and I had no power over when and how. For weeks afterwards I was too scared to sleep in case I never woke up again.
I’ve consciously hoping to learn how to cope with my own fears of my mortality for a very long time. I’ve often hoped to lessen it. No luck.
I suffer from a lung disorder and often feel as if my lungs have sand in them. My assumption is that my death may be from not being able to breath and it will feel much like now but increasingly worse.
So I’m hoping that I’ll quickly pass out and die while unconscious. Since I’ve often assumed that I’ll die in extreme agony, the sensation of drowning - sand-filled lungs - is comparatively mild.
I once had a priest tell me that death was nothing to fear and that it was something we practised every night when we went to sleep, which to be honest didn’t help, and I had another attack of fear filled insomnia. My mother suffered terribly with asthma and chronic airways disease and it was terrible to watch her struggle for breath, however, in the end, her death was very quick and peaceful and not at all traumatic. Gloomy as it is, I hope that helps, it’s meant to. I’m sorry you suffer from such a horrible condition.
Comments
I always kind of hope I won’t know that I’m dying when I die - that it’ll just seem like an emergency and then I’ll be dead. No time to think “Is this it?”
Posted by: Dev | September 4, 2009 4:21 PM
I’ve always hoped I’d die in my sleep. I guess almost everyone does.
Given my COPD my current suspicious is that my lungs will fail first if I contract a lie threatening disease.
I have a living will and can trust Gordon to do the right thing.
Posted by: Richard Evans Lee | September 4, 2009 8:59 PM
How can anything be worse than drowning in sand, that’s a horrifying image. :( I’m terrified of death and have been since I was a kid. I had one of those sudden mortality moments when it dawned on me that as an organic entity I had to die at some point and I had no power over when and how. For weeks afterwards I was too scared to sleep in case I never woke up again.
Posted by: LB | September 15, 2009 2:49 PM
I’ve consciously hoping to learn how to cope with my own fears of my mortality for a very long time. I’ve often hoped to lessen it. No luck.
I suffer from a lung disorder and often feel as if my lungs have sand in them. My assumption is that my death may be from not being able to breath and it will feel much like now but increasingly worse.
So I’m hoping that I’ll quickly pass out and die while unconscious. Since I’ve often assumed that I’ll die in extreme agony, the sensation of drowning - sand-filled lungs - is comparatively mild.
Posted by: Richard Evans Lee | September 15, 2009 3:50 PM
I once had a priest tell me that death was nothing to fear and that it was something we practised every night when we went to sleep, which to be honest didn’t help, and I had another attack of fear filled insomnia. My mother suffered terribly with asthma and chronic airways disease and it was terrible to watch her struggle for breath, however, in the end, her death was very quick and peaceful and not at all traumatic. Gloomy as it is, I hope that helps, it’s meant to. I’m sorry you suffer from such a horrible condition.
Posted by: LB | September 16, 2009 7:43 AM
That priest confirms my general impression of the value of advice from those professional virgins.
Yeah, I think there is a reasonable chance that my COPD may cause me to go when I’m asleep.
Worries about death take a backseat to quotidian cares about money and the like.
Posted by: Richard Evans Lee | September 16, 2009 8:33 PM