Sleepless Hypochondria

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One of the disobliging traits of the body is the speed with which it can lose strength.

Sleeping upright for over a year has had an unexpected penalty. The muscles that support my upper body while prone have fallen out of condition. After two or three hours my shoulders hurt. I get up and check my email and try to read. Futile since I’m still mostly asleep.

And it exacerbates that paranoia known as hypochondria.

A touch of numbness, shortness of breath, trivial aches and pains leave me worrying they are signals of some new or reoccurring problem and that I should rush to the emergency room.

All these bodily irritations and old and familiar. Ignoring those I shouldn’t have has been the main way I’ve made myself ill during the last twenty years. But the bulk are just minor sensations of no import. Now I fret about it more.

And in the early morning, in a daze of interrupted sleep, I worry even more.

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