Again: I Try Porn

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I ran across a video tape with a label that read [Name] Best Parts.

The handwriting wasn’t mine, Charles’ or Alex’s.

I suspect it must’ve been yet another porno tape that somehow got moved here when Charles left the house he’d been staying before we began our misalliance.

Playing the video proved me correct.

The videos featured the same cute, smooth twink. A youth much to my taste.

So I watched a bit of the pumping, thrusting: legs at work, a head moving up and down.

Pretty lad.

But I found once again: I just don’t care for porn. Maybe somewhere there is a tape or DVD of a fey, swishy cutie that would move me. Not that a pornographer with an eye to profit would make such a thing.

Nor that I’d really enjoy it.

I like illustrations and photographs of androgynous folks. But they don’t prompt the sound of one hand slapping.

Even the most pedestrian androgyne in fleshly life would move me more.

Don’t get me wrong: my inability to respond to porn isn’t something I think a virtue. Often I wonder if it isn’t a defect.

Enjoying simulated sex is healthy. Do I have a disease?


Hi Richard: I fall into the same catagory as you — a gay man not into porn — and very much a romantisist — My favorite quote “Being gay is not about who you have sex with, it’s about who you fall in love with” James Dean 1954

For sure. I’ve known gay men who are capable of sex with women but don’t find that satisfying and cannot bond with them as lovers.

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Again: I Try Porn
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