Are you gay or bisexual?

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This started as a comment on a post of Wired Nerve's. It got too fat so I made it an entry. It is pretty hasty and wandering.

Many people are more able to perform sex acts with the sex they aren't ordinarily attracted to. Back when I was in the business there were guys who were able to have an orgasm when a guy gave them a blowjob. But they would've never gone with a man without personal economics pulling them. Similarly men in prison have sex with men rather than their hand. This is at least functional bisexuality. (And leads to far too many bypaths into the individuals' sexuality for me to try to pursue in a comment.)

I've known plenty of gay men who've had climaxes with women without any desire to ever do so again. It was just a triumph of friction. Masturbation requiring more effort.

A woman who has sex with another female to please a boyfriend are on some level bisexual, if only functionally. It is easy to cavil at this but some people can only enjoy sex with a fetish object. So a man's approval might function as a catalyst to create a sexual potential that wouldn't exist otherwise.

The man in prison who finds a guy to be his 'bitch' puzzles me. What is he getting out of this if he just wants an orgasm? His sexuality may as much defined by a hunger for submission or control as ejecting his sperm. And will use any object available. His inability act bisexually out of jail may be weakness: fear of looking gay.

Some people are bisexual in the sense that they can enjoy having sex with either gender. But some (only heterosexual?) bisexuals want a role and life that can only be achieved with a partner of the opposite sex. Some weaklings need the acceptance of family and coworkers. Others want children produced by natural means.

Some people are happy to have sex with men and women. Some aspect of upbringing left them able to love only one sex. They can get hot and bothered when they see a nice looking man or woman but get a little giddier when they see someone of the sex that matters most to them. A boy or girl makes them smile more.

Bisexuality as asexuality: biphobic people, biphobia

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Comments

To some extent I believe my own pondering on the subject is a coping mechanism which is allowing me to figure myself out. How nice it would have been to figured this out years ago, before my life had become Hetero-routine. But such is not the case and now I am wondering if I am doing this for the erotic thrill or is it truly a deeper want. Time and experience will allow me to determine if I am gay, heterosexual, heteroflexible or bisexual and while I am figuring this out, I am having a blast meeting all kinds of people with different mindsets. That being the best part of this entire life change.

For about 5-6 months I believed I was Bisexual. Way back when I was 12 but by the time 13 rolled around I had my heart set on being gay.

I thought being bisexual would be easier than being gay which I’m sure it can be when looking for a date. So bisexual also covers gay boys thinking it’s easier, hell I even made myself think about naked chicks.

There is more distrust of bisexuals than you might guess. Both gay men and straight women think a bisexual man is really more interested in which sex they aren’t and more likely to cheat.

Glad you found your true self. Forcing yourself to be with girls when you weren’t interested would’ve been hell.

I am a very lonley bisexual crossdresser (male) I am comfortable with who i am but don’t have any one to share this with,.please feel free to contact me at my e-mail , male or female I will respond. lets see where it goes from there . Peggy

There is maybe another catagory? I started messing around with my male friends at an early prepubescent age and it continued through puberty. Though I was never able to orgasm I was plenty arosed. Once high school started I started dating girls and having sex with girls and besides one mid high school male encounter, have only been with women I’m now 37, married with kids. I still and have always had thoughts of being with men, but I am most definately more attracted to women. Does that make me heteroflexible, bisexual, or truely confused?

There are all sorts of gradations and permutations of same and opposite sex attraction. Often mixed in the same person. Possibly the lack of orgasms was inhibition or not doing the one thing that would’ve excited you sufficiently.

Hopefully since you have a wife and kids those are what matter.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Are you gay or bisexual?.
Thanks,
Richard

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