Is being short unsexy?

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Short fat and dumpy is a common description of a sexually undesirable person. You never read or hear tall, fat and dumpy. The implication makes you wonder why you've never seen personal ads saying to femmes, fatties or shorties.

I've often expressed preference for shorter guys. First guy I slept with was 5'8", left me with nostalgia and it is a great height for holding someone in your lap (I'll confess I've never wanted to be held in a lap). If lovers were available from - and who knows what Jeff Bezos' next innovation will be? - I'm sure I'd have focused list of criteria.

In real life I've never really cared how tall a guy is. Top of my list is intelligent eyes and even that isn't a must. A slightly bewildered doe-eyed look has its charms.

The tall are favored. While I've bitched about short steps I've never wished I weren't 6'3". Though I did feel a little dashed the day a short cutie told the other short cutie he was with that he liked guys about his own height best.

Guess being tall is another part of being masculine.

When you are looking for a guy do you want your head to have to tilt up if only a little bit?

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i like tall guys, but most of the fella’s i’ve been with have been my heighth or shorter. there have been a few dates with taller guys, but i figure that didn’t work out because i was too short or not masculine enough. guess i am just reaffirming your point there. however sitting in a big guys lap - not hot. wrestling and being pinned down by bigger guy - definately hot.

Sigh, “not hot.” I always enjoyed having a guy on me knee. Great position for kissing. Never been much for wrestling (I used to get IMs from a guy nearby who was obsessed with it). Though I do like pinned a guy down during sex. Not sure what all of that says about me. Nothing bad.

I don’t care much for taller guys or bigger guys but at 6’+ 250# I don’t run into taller and bigger too often.

I like Asian guys and as such almost all my lovers in the past have been small, short and with little or no body hair. And my lap is the perfect place for them. One of them told me once leaning on me is like leaning on an oak tree.

We like what we like?

I’m 5’2” thus it is difficult to find someone my height - let alone shorter! However I prefer a similar height because it affects displays of affection. Kissing, embracing, and many sex acts are much easier if both partners are roughly the same height. Sitting in someone’s lap may be real evidence of intimacy but it also says something about a unbalanced relationship. Perhaps this is all part of the femme/macho tension that keeps cropping up in gay culture.


I think you and I share more than a few tastes in guys.

Though some folks seem to find the idea of hold another male in your lap disturbing.

Peter, “It also says something about a unbalanced relationship. Perhaps this is all part of the femme/macho tension that keeps cropping up in gay culture.”

I can’t and won’t say that doesn’t ever exist, but in my case and for me and my lovers it doesn’t. My last Philippino boyfriend was 4’8” we couldn’t both stand and kiss unless he was on a step stool or ladder. And he was a little too low for me to bend over for long passionate kisses (bad back) How ever me seated and him on my lap facing me was perfect. Neither one of us saw it as a top/bottom thing. If anything it made us equals. He always stated he loved it because we were eye to eye and I loved it for exactly the same reasons.

I am fairly short, fairly heavy, but I’m not dumpy. I tend to appeal to some guys and revolt some guys. It’s really half and half. I suppose it is all a matter of preference. There was a study done on how the height of men affect attraction from women.

The short guy, no matter how rich they made him seem, couldn’t get the girls to like him.


Overall body and face type probably matter more than anything else. The cliché “short fat and dumpy” struck me as implying that shortness in itself was unappealing.

I fall between tall and short (5’9”) and have tended to fall for taller guys. (My partner of nearly 3 years and I met online under friendly, long-distance terms that weren’t focused on matchmaking. We’d been talking for a few months before I found out he is 6’5”, and it piqued my curiosity.)

One of the pleasant surprises to me is the attractiveness of the subtle shades of androgyny to be in the big guys I’ve been close to. Nothing hotter than getting intimate with the tender or even submissive sides of guys who folks assume are commanding.

Height isn’t the deciding factor, by any means, but I need a guy who can be both assertive and vulnerable.

I went with a guy who was 6’4”, it was nice to have someone who could put his arms around my shoulders.

Height isn’t the deciding factor, by any means, but I need a guy who can be both assertive and vulnerable.

Sounds ideal. But when they guys I’ve known with an assertive side have tended to have more of a purely bitchy side.

I think proportion is more important than height. A lot of really tall guys look like they’ve been stretched, ie, they don’t have a nice V-taper in the back, broad shoulders, muscular thighs, etc; rather, they’re too lanky for me. Guys my height (5’10”) and shorter tend to look more proportional with a classical physique, and that’s what attracts me. But if a guy 6’+ had those proportions then I might be interested.

The larger the frame the more muscle mass is required to make an effect which is why most pro bodybuilders are short.

Not that I’m bitching, the time someone said I was willowy I was quite flattered.

I like tall guys cause they give me a feeling of safety and comfort. It’s pretty clear that everyone has different tastes and preferences, and thank goodness for that cause otherwise, where would we all be?


One of the things I like being tall is my pleasure in the company of guys who feel that it offers strength and comfort.

I’m 5’4”, so like Peter, I’m unfamiliar with finding folks my height. My partner & I met online, & before seeing my ad, he had put 5’4” as his shortest range for a guy’s height. However, he changed it to say 5’3” before he responded to me. So it’s all relative. But do I get looks as I walk down the street? Rarely. Society is definitely prejudiced against short men.

The cliché is tall dark and handsome not small pale and cute. Never let a guy’s height stop me from enjoying his looks.

Once in the shop I remember a regular customer who is very short spotting a woman browsing the CDs who was even shorter. He did his damnedest to flirt, get a conservation going.

I’ll take small pale and cute over tall dark and handsome every single time.

And Chase, you just don’t see us looking… But we are.

i’m 6’. i like to look up to a taller guy.

but then i remembered dating a 6’4” guy who cowered like a chi-hua hua behind me on 8th ave when i was in a dress and some teenage gangbangers were coming towards us.


I think you are being unkind to the Chihuahuas. The ones I’ve encountered have always seemed dementedly aggressive.

to some degree, i have fantasizes about dating a psycho who is dementedly aggressive. i’m sure in reality it wouldn’t be walk in the park in reality. ray liotta’s pyscho character ray, in “something wild” was a psycho boyfriend i always thought about having.

i had a skinhead militia supremacist guy out in pennsy who wrote me. army fatigues, shotgun rack in the back, the works.

so i asked him: “you would stand by me in public right? you wouldn’t care what people think, right?”

that was the last time i heard from him.

i must be hanging out in the wrong places.

show me the way to the krystal meth burger joint!

The first year I was out I met this hypermasculine man who radiated danger and found myself very helplessly attracted. He was the real thing: a bodybuilder who acted as an enforcer for drug dealers.

Back when I was meeting guys from online one of the nicest told me that part of what excited him was when he read that my father knocked my mother’s teeth out. Not that he wanted his teeth removed he just hoped some of that violence was alive in me.

Of course my daddy is a good example of why those feelings are best left in fantasy land. Unless you luck into somebody who is good at role-playing.

Kind of odd to have wandered into this theme. My inner movie studio has been sending memos of plot outlines of productions with me as very aggressive and controlling. An unsurprising reaction to how things have went.

Skinheads are a pretty conformist group don’t you think?

it wasn’t official that he was a skinhead. oh well, we never met, so no loss there.

it’s been said that we often seek lovers in an image of our parents. i keep on attempting to discover a revelation about some part of my past which makes me attracted to psychos, but honestly, i can’t think of any. both my parents have been nothing but gentle to me. no hand was ever raised. however, when my mother was going about with another man, and he came to drop her off one night. i saw my father bust a wine bottle on the lip of a garbage can and ran out with the jagged bottle neck into the night. that was my only bout with violence as a child.

i think mentally i am coming to the conclusion that a psycho would be more likely to say, “the hell with what anyone thinks, this is my girl.” “you looking at my girl?!” as i am comfortably tucked in his arms, in public. and yes, that’s thrilling, as opposed to all these lab mice experiments gone wrong (i stayed off your dear chi hua huas this time!).

still, i just know there is a heavy price to pay when fantasy turns to reality.

odd, when you consider that the aforementioned movie has that very topic as it’s storyline. i don’t know if you ever saw it, but the last ten minutes seemed to have absolutely no relationship, texture-wise, to the first ninety minutes of the movie. it was as if the dreamy whimsy of the better part of the movie evaporated instantaneously.

I’m 5’6”.

I’ve always admired slightly taller guys. My last ex was 6’5”, but that was too much. We got strange looks at a gay club, and I felt awkward.

I’ve recently started dating someone of the same height, and I much prefer it. I guess I just like to date guys who are on the level with me.

I wouldn’t be surprised if most gay men didn’t want someone about the same size.

I love tall guys… yes, sitting on his lap is hot and it does not diminish my masculinity. There are many feminine tall guys that I would not find attractive…. the attraction is tall, inshape, hairy, MASCULINE…. any combination of these is fine! Like…. inshape bears if there is such a thing!

Yeah I’m 6’3” and I like girls. Im not even gay. Just wanted to say that. Well I have a girlfriend and she is 5’3” and she loves me being taller then her. She has a lot of comfert when around me. Later freaks.

No it’s not sexy to me. I like ‘em at least 5’9.

Well, my last boyfriend was a Swedish palm tree who happened to be Portuguese with African and French ancestors. The guy looked like a Scandinavian Viking, goattee and long dreadlocked yellow hair.

I like white. The skin can be any colour, but has to have the white glow, something Greek about it, that light I see in the statues.

Most guys would take me as the fem, but I just think that’s more THEIR idea of who I am than MY idea of who I am. I actually don’t have an idea of who I am, but that’s not the issue.

The issue is tall guys, masculine looking and into fem/submissive/androgynous types turn it into a medieval quest and then go down emotionally at the slightest hindrance. I am a rational and level headed person in matters of sex and love; he was inexperienced and unable to let me touch him sexually, though he explored my body like Cousteau going for the depths of the sea. A shame those depths never got to be anal: he was just too repressed to do so. I topped him. Had to stop. Was hurting him. And still he has those fantasies of protecting me, the skinny boy who still thinks of him and loves the guy but cannot stand the incompatibilities.

The whole idea of the tall, handsome, masculine guy who protects the nelly boy is quite often a sham. The masculine guy is usually much less used to the confrontation a nelly guy has gotten used to. I am always suspicious - not irritated, not offended, just slightly suspicious - of guys who want to protect me because the red hair and the colourful girl clothes may seem too much. I have been through many awkward situations and there was no guy there to save me. You learn for yourself, you deal with it as you can.

I do like a dominant top in bed, but I can also be a forceful and hungry bottom if the top just gets tired. And most do, rather quickly.

But sensibility and experience have taught me that those who refuse to see my mind and focus on my toothpick body just end up seeing the pink Power Puff sweater and not the stimuli hungry, cynically analytical person who feels bored with too strict gender notions because bullshit is bullshit and I’m not gonna get my masculinity out for the lads or hype my femininity up for the willing.

i am short….its not fun sometimes. :(

I’m 6’3 I dont think being short is unsexy,

although, in my case, I would love a taller man which is so difficult to find someone taller and is proportioned right being taller than 6’3. I am proportioned well, I am not lanky or stalky, actually, if you were to look at my picture, you couldnt tell I was tall, I actually have slightly short limbs compared to my body.

Finding someone taller than I who I find attractive phisically and mentally is rare, though.. I am currently in a long distance relationship with someone who is 5’11, I have never met him but he seems like someone I could totally compat with.

His height is something I have thought about so much, I want a guy who gives me a manly protected feeling, I wonder if someone shorter than me could give me that, or if he’ll feel less masc becasue I am taller? I always think of those guys who have those taller girls.

I have known him for so long and never met him, nor have I spicifically spesified my exact height to him for a strange and crazy reason although he has an idia that I am around 6’3,

sence I love him so much, I was looking into a way to become shorter, any way, I thought it would fit my personality and preference more.. I love him that much, but I have become weary and discouraged on that fact for I have soaked enough knoledge to know that its impossible to become shorter…

Still, I’ll try to make it work out. Sometimes I get uneasy and unsure when he seems to talk to me as if I’m the manly atmosphere between us, then sometimes he seems to prefer it equel, and sometimes and to my liking, more manly calling me “babe” and things like that.

We are going to meet in the next month and I guess I’ll just have to see what it becomes, become more experienced, although, I wish every day I was shorter……

So as you can see, being on the shorter side can be a very good thing as a gay man.

Hope this wasnt to long, Thanks -QuillBoi.

short muscular cute guys really do it for me! they tend to have much hotter bodies, but even if a tall guy had the same shape body I’d still go for the short version, it’s just sexier … they can be really strong but without too much weight, which makes sex a dream!!

I am 6’ 3” and I love tall slender men. I see a big masculine body as a larger canvas to work with. Longer legs, torso, and arms. I also have a thing for seeing powerful men being put in vulnerable positions. Nothing turns me on faster than the thought of big, muscular legs pinned in a spread eagle position. I can also find the “Short, Pale, and Cute” attractive too, but I just can help but try to take the dominate role…but the power struggle is a beautiful thing.

“A new study from the University of Essex analysed speed-dating sessions, and found that every extra inch of height a man has over his fellow Romeos correlates to an increase in the number of women who want to be introduced to him of 5 per cent.”

Hey Quillboi, I’m in the same spot as you, except I’m the shortie. I’m 5’10 ish and he’s 6’3 or so… we’re meeting in 2 weeks. But yer, I’m a little weary about the height thing, but I guess we’ll jus see…

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Is being short unsexy?.

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