On being needed ...

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I always think of myself as a happy solitary. I like my own company and groups and crowds invoke an involuntary nausea.

But last night I was barely able to sleep from sheer loneliness.

It hit me that I'm single again.

Now I don't have even the illusion of meeting another's needs, to be - I'm not sure of what word captures the right nuance - provider, builder, strong right arm, shoulder to cry on. To be needed in a certain way is one of my deeper hungers.

The guy I met four years ago almost to the day is away right now; we haven't even spoken on the phone.

Momentarily freed of pressure I finally have the emotional space in which to mourn the loss of love.

So I spent my night remembering him sitting on my leg, thinking of smiling at his profile when he looked especially sweet.

A miserable time but one I needed to live through to prepare for life without someone who needs me.


I feel for you.

I have felt such pain, I understand it well. All too well I’m afraid.

If there’s anything I can do?

Same feeling as Tim

Hope you are Okay

We care


All my best….


Love and support from one gay blogger to another.

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Pansexual Sodomite
Love and Lust
On being needed ...
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