On being needed ...

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I always think of myself as a happy solitary. I like my own company and groups and crowds invoke an involuntary nausea.

But last night I was barely able to sleep from sheer loneliness.

It hit me that I'm single again.

Now I don't have even the illusion of meeting another's needs, to be - I'm not sure of what word captures the right nuance - provider, builder, strong right arm, shoulder to cry on. To be needed in a certain way is one of my deeper hungers.

The guy I met four years ago almost to the day is away right now; we haven't even spoken on the phone.

Momentarily freed of pressure I finally have the emotional space in which to mourn the loss of love.

So I spent my night remembering him sitting on my leg, thinking of smiling at his profile when he looked especially sweet.

A miserable time but one I needed to live through to prepare for life without someone who needs me.

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Comments

I feel for you.

I have felt such pain, I understand it well. All too well I’m afraid.

If there’s anything I can do?

Same feeling as Tim

Hope you are Okay

We care

hugs

All my best….

Lij

Love and support from one gay blogger to another.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about On being needed ....
Thanks,
Richard

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