Pansexual Paradox

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Viewed abstractly my pansexuality leaves me open to so many possibilities. But instead of feeling like an erotic everyman I feel like nobody.

Some of this is probably the wounds of lost love.

Much of it may be because I think of my sexuality as adaptable. Rather: adaptive. And without some specific vision of what to adapt to, of whom to adapt to my sexuality goes blank.

I become neutered.

While I don’t think it is literally true I don’t currently have a sense of a sexual ideal. Gender quality, performance, identity: who?

And without a goal, a hope - really without a person -

I can think of several potential focuses. All attached.

My fear is that I’m fooling myself. If I’m truly content to be without anyone then I can curl up on my couch and let humanity go about its peculiar and often seemingly pointless ways.

I’ve felt that before. But when I awoke from that mindset it seemed as if I’d thrown away years of my life. Forgone experiences better cherished than dismissed.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Pansexual Paradox.
Thanks,
Richard

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