Pansexuality : A Questionnaire
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A few months ago I was asked if I were willing to answer a questionnaire about being pansexual. I said sure but then forgot to ever respond.
After a long delay this is what I imagine my reply would’ve been:
1. How do you define your sexuality?
Pansexual, but you wouldn’t have sent me this if that weren’t the case.
Pansexual switch if you include power exchange or S&M.
Queer pansexual if you include my social orientation. Being different isn’t inherently meaningful but despite my demeanor I can’t identify with heterosexuality.
2. Why do you feel that pansexual is an appropriate term to define your sexuality?
As I’ve grown older physical configuration and gender self-perception has seemed increasingly less relevant to erotic desire and sympathy.
Mere bisexuality doesn’t encompass the varied ways in which people enjoy their erotic life, biological diversity or the increasingly large spectrum of gender identities.
3. How do you define your gender?
Male. Masculine/androgynous to a degree. I do feel that there are small strands derived from female role models but have never established a truly clear sense of this. Partly from a disconnect with certain norms that leaves me unable to properly decode or decipher them.
4. Are you “out” to family and/ or friends?
5. If so, how have they reacted?
My father cursed me but eventually convinced himself that I was perpetuated a cruel hoax. My mother feared I’d grow old and lonely. A couple of friends were shocked but this was long ago.
I have no interest in the friendship of people who cannot accept my sexuality or that of those for whom I have affection.
6. If not, why not?
7. How do you feel that your sexuality has changed throughout your life?
Inside out and upside down?
It has been a complicated, sometimes muddy ramifying of what was in me from the beginning but expressed itself only slowly.
Some of it is also willful structuring.
Many of entries here are my attempts to answer that question.
8. Are you in favour of same sex marriage?
I’m in favor of legal bindings, romantic affiliations with or with out religious overtones that make the people involved happy.
And very much in favor of inheritance laws that aren’t constrained by consanguineous relationship.
9. Do you feel that same sex marriage would have a positive or negative effect on those who identify as pansexual?
Obviously those of us who may contract permanent romantic affiliations with people outside the norm will best served by being allowed live with our spouse/mate and enable them to inherit our property.
10. Any further comments?
Only that I’m sorry I completely forgot about this.