Porn doesn't make me horny

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Bel Ami is the only of the naked model sites that comes near my erotic aesthetic. If I devolve into a dirty old man I'll have to see if they have a special skinny boys line.

I don't think I've ever mentioned that I did pay for an AVS pass (or something like that, one of those things that gives you access to online nudity, the decent services protect folks to post pictures of naked guys because they want to but need to screen out kids).

It was some long since deceased Dutch twink site. One reason I never became a web porn fan was that it takes far too many keystrokes and hours to find anyone I want to look at. During the middle time when my sexuality revived but I wasn't able to do anything about it I tried with great diligence.

I downloaded many megabytes from Usenet's twink binaries newsgroup, keeping perhaps two pictures out of a thousand. Young, hairless, yes, but pedestrian if not grim looking youths. Whether flaunting their cock or kindly bending over to give a better view of their butt they weren't the stuff my masturbatory dreams were made of.

I did fine one inescapably nelly boy in the nude. To be honest it tended to be in BDSM themed images I found the few bashful looking young men that appealed to me.

Later when my sexuality grew to include transsexuals I didn't go in search of chicks with dicks. I didn't have to. Their photos came to me. The true genetic history of the bodies with inflated tits and silicone-injected lips was doubtful. Probably the big dicks they were sporting arrived through Photoshop and not surgery.

(F., I don't know if I ever mentioned it but the person used for the home page of the old Gay Transvestites Club did strike me as very sexy. Probably perverse weakness for bleached blonde hair combined with too much mascara.)

The ability to pose nude is a gift. The harsh grimaces aren't winning smiles. And the winning smiles look generic.

Not that I'm criticizing folks who can get a kick out of porn. Not in the slightest. One day I might even find some I like. (Well, that is if I'm looking, won't be as long as I'm with Charles.)

Earlier: Silly Mysteries of Sexual Beauty and Some people don't know they're 'sex symbols'.

[Listening to: Diamond Life/Numb (Meat Katie Remix/Deep Dish Numb Life Remix) - Deep Dish - GU025CD1 Toronto (Deep Dish) (07:56)]

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I have also had tremendous difficulty finding pornography (or, rather, erotica) on the web of the men I like to look at — wispy, white-skinned, finely-boned, even in makeup or crossdressed. I have found my best pictures on gothic websites. I find a great deal more in movies that are not intended to be erotica strictly— such as Velvet Goldmine, a 1998 Todd hayes film. I ceretainly share your frustration in sifting through the pages of ugly, over-the-top porn. Currently I’m awaiting my copy of Pink Narcissus in the mail— I’ll see what that brings. If you have any ideas, or new finds, give me an email. A

Let me know what you think of Pink Narcissus.

Goth quys are cute. But one of my quirks is that I want to ogle only guys that I know are gay. For me gayness is sexually appealing in itself.

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Thanks,
Richard

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