See more » Love and Lust
I think I already wrote about gay erotica not that long ago. But it was mentioned in a conversation that arose from my porn entry.
Iíve half planned to take a look at some of the gay male erotica anthologies on my shopís shelves. But I always catalog them and put them out for sale. Sometimes I open a page at random. Youíd lose the bet if you didnít expect tan, taut muscles, conspicuous bulges and, say, construction workerís boots. Picture the Brawny towel man. I wonít argue with his erotic power (although Iídíve loved to work on the focus groups that created him).
Guess I donít give the books more of a try because Iím not going to get guys with nice ties, a little pixie dust and too much cologne.
Denigration, written on either side, is a big hindrance in the written fantasies featuring feminine men. Iíd be lying if I implied that ďFuck me like the bitch I amĒ doesnít have its place in real life. But with letter spacing and margins I want to wriggle down and look away (a fancy way of saying close the browser). Discomfort with what I might enjoy in meat life and what Iím willing to read might be why I sound like a stale, juiceless man when Iím journaling about porn and erotica.
This afternoon I figured Iíd hit the Nifty Archive. Nifty, if youíve never been, is a long established free site with lots of LGBT porn by folks like you and me. I used to check the Authoritarian section (and even added to it). Sweeping past Athletics, Celebrity and Incest thereís Relationships.
Many of the Nifty stories are a few to many episodes long. Internet users are famously impatient so I try a one-shots.
First try, next entry please:
"Is that too tight?" Dane fitted the blindfold over Jake's eyes.
Jake shook his head no. They had fucked before, three times now, or was it four?
Iím not naÔve enough to think that power relationships canít be romantic (probably most of the safe, sane, consensual people are married couples). But this wasnít what I wanted in the opening paragraph.
I had missed his funeral by a week. And I missed an opportunity. I am just glad that I didn't miss that one night stand so many years ago. .
Uh, not really what I had in mind.
Joe Thorthan Miller was larger then life. A big, husky man with broad shoulders and a swagger to his walk. He was a successful theatrical lawyer and producer. He lived live hard, drank harder and took chances when opportunity presented themselves. But for all his toughness and bravado, he was kind and gentle and most of all loving.
A few more paragraphs like that and Iíd start yelling at the pets.
Ass-slut isnít an uncongenial theme. Nor is it the sort of theme Iím looking for.
I should step back for a moment and make it clear that I donít denigrate any of the stories on Nifty. They are much akin to weblogs and online journals. Weíre all just tapping away at the keyboard and letting anybody who wants see the outcome. I wouldnít welcome an impartial, abstract anatomy of my own journal.
syw1974 alluded to slash. I have to thank her for the tidbit that slash derives its name from divisor in ďKirk/Spock. (A neat complement to this morningís discovery that the first smiley was used by Scott Fahlman and still exists on tape.)
For a longish time I thought slash was only written about Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock variously sodomizing and fellating one another. In devon's journal I made the (unsurprising discovery once you think about it) that it had expanded to include all sorts of fictional folks. And it was devonís journal that got the corn cob out of my ass so and stop thinking of slash as something for pathologists.
Smallville slash has been suggested or mentioned to me more than once. It is my favorite TV show, Iíll redfacedly admit Iím looking forward to the new season. Tom Welling and Kristin Kreuk are both about as lustworthy as people get. At first I watched because of the rare lovliness of a few of Wellingís smiles. Those things pall quickly. I kept watching, like many people, because of Lex.
Superman & boy are the heroes of my little kid years. I usually don't care much to see modifications of them (don't criticize them, just irrelevant to me). Iíd never expected to watch Smallville. Iíve never watched an episode of Lois & Clark.
I've added a Smallville slash link to my favorites so I can take a look at it later. Maybe anyway. Utterly alien to most folks Iím sure but decades ago the Superman comics had an idealist moral purity for me (pretty baffling when reread as an adult). If the Clark character didn't embody that fairly well I probably couldn't watch the show. While idealism is very erotic I'm not sure if the seven year old shyly hiding somewhere inside me will ever want to make the leap.
Swerving back to erotic prose. Iíve had one of my parallel processors working in the back of my mind trying to remember sexy words Iíve read.
No one can make you feel more attractive than a queen. A faulty quote from John Rechyís too earnestly florid City of Night. Must be routine for many of us to doubt our attractiveness until someone incontestably lovely is in our bed.
I remember a story featuring spanking in some trashy gay tabloid. It may have aroused me because it woke up part of myself. But it was surrounded with tenderness (and mustíve been just plain pathetic).
Not long after figuring out that I was gay I read an extract of Teleny, or The Reverse of the Medal an old sexy gay novel attributed sometimes to Wilde. I think I liked what I read. But I didnít buy the cheap paperback I ran across not much later. Canít say if my recollection of enjoying what I read is wrong or I felt prudish about buying pornography (I was eighteen, canít say I know much about the Richard of that long ago).
Surprises me that I canít think of more. For a short stretch I read any gay novels I ran across. They were mostly bad and depressing. Not sure if the unhappy endings were the publishersí requirements or they were imitating The City and the Pillar (not the worst of Vidalís early novels but of archaeological interest only).
When the fat gay potboilers came out in the early seventies I read a few of them. All that remains is a shudder when I see the name Gordon Merrick.
A few years ago I started reading gay fiction. Mostly funny gay fiction. When Alan Hollinghurst alluded to ďbossy bottoms and timid topsĒ I couldnít help but nod. But I donít remember much about the sex. (Except for the continuous reference to sex in public lavatories which history and movies imply is a more conventional venue than here in the US.)
The nutty guy sometimes called Prince is good for erotic imagery (but you canít help be annoyed that his lyrics often fizzle out). True of much black music. Sitting off in the chart ghetto of Harlem Harmony (later renamed to R&B) left them free of the childish proprieties that bound many white musicians.
Whew, this is long enough.
Maybe Iíll open an anthology of gay erotica someday. Or find an agreeable novel.
Recently I went through TLAVideo.comís reviews of gay male films compiling a list of gay movies to rent. I skipped the erotica (distinct from the porn which they list separately). Charles is peculiarly prudish at times (I can never make up my mind if I like him for it). Maybe Iíll go back and look only at the soft core.
I watch movies and TV shows that Iíd never read the written equivalent of. Sometime back Pink Narcissus was recommended. Iíve never rented it because Charles would be bored (at best).
I could say I sound henpecked but I think how I try to orient myself to his comfort is obvious to anybody whose read my journal. He can always go chat with his AOL pals.
This really is long enough.