Return of the Gay Virgins
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(A clarification of my note on Gay Virgins.)
That you went out and had experiences kind of puts you outside the range of people that I was thinking about. They never were, never will even try. One guy I knew eventually had a psychotic episode wherein he imagined he was getting married to this TV actor he’s hung up on.
When I first discovered that I lusted after guys I was delighted to get naked with any pretty young thing that said he’d like to trick with me.
Early on I was hoping to meet a guy to love more than physically. But it was a few years before I grew cool to casual carnality. Hard for me to imagine anyone not having a phase when they don’t enjoy sex for its own sake; another body’s warmth, someone else’s lips on yours.
Some people don’t get much pleasure from sex without romance. I became one of those people. In my case love for romance did damage me, sometimes seriously. And it cost me I have no idea how many chances to explore different aspects of my sexualities (though I’d done a bit of catching up). That wasn’t my point.
Some people need more personal involvement. I didn’t mean to imply that is necessarily unhealthy. Others want serious commitment. Now that can screw up a person. Regardless of affectional orientation only a slender percentage of relationships last a lifetime. Or more than a few years. Not that I was arguing you shouldn’t try. I’ve devoted no small amount of time and energy looking for Mr/Ms/M? Right.
I was expressing regret that even now there are gay men without the courage or resources to even try exploring their sexuality.
I’m probably more sickened that saddened by guys who are preserving their virginity for the One True Love. Trying to live in terms of a silly shibboleth that stems from an ancient desire to own another and preserve the purity of your progeny.
If you are trying to meet someone but your geographical limitations limit you. Or you’ve dated guys and decided that casual sex isn’t for you. Then you aren’t one of the people I had in mind.