Romantic Pairing

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I’ve been reading scattered bits of history lately.

It is easy to forget how our modern conceptions of romantic love aren’t typical of human history. Or even the majority of the world’s contemporary population.

So many people were married to serve prudential, political and familial directives. What struck me was how many of these unions led to happily shared lives. Probably not the majority. But how many affairs of the heart nowadays flourish forever?

People bond foolishly and ignorantly. Too little experience. Often blinded by raptures of satisfied lust. Or mere fear of being alone.

How many people do you know who’ve chosen to live together because of rational consideration of compatibility? From valuing mutual esteem? Not that those aren’t often weighed.

But who really decided to share their lives with someone else because of sober consideration?

We want the magic. The mania. The intoxication: though we’d never be so foolish were we drunk or high on liquor or drugs.

Sadly I don’t see an edifying lesson in this less voluntary unions. But I somehow feel there is something to be learned. I’m just not sure what.

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With each passing year I have to let go more and more of the possibility of magic, intoxication, and mania. I’m not sure whether it’s because I’m turning into my mother (practical-minded..boring) or it’s because I don’t believe the concept of the ideal relationship that Hollywood tries to sell us actually exists.

The magic, for me, lies not in the Meg Ryan characters, the Steven Spielberg close-ups, and the Celine Dion soundtrack. The magic, is the acceptance of your partner’s faults and shortcomings.

I think it’s OK that most romantic unions don’t last decades. Yes, it would be nice to have a partner “forever” - I definitely see the appeal. But there is also some value to having a partner who meets my needs right now (and who I am hot for right now). There is a cost to long-term monogamous partnership.

Given that we don’t have to stay with the same partner forever, and assuming we can avoid people who are dangerous to us (in whatever way), I think it’s good to enjoy the freedom of choosing based on whims and chemistry.

As a pansexual polyfetishist I’ve had my share of variety. But I’d prefer to have constancy.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Romantic Pairing.
Thanks,
Richard

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