Straight acting homos
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Have you heard of Straight Acting? The site is famous for the quiz that determines how heterosexual seeming you are. Quizzes for both male faggots (like myself) and gay women.
Manly Men From Nowhere
Don't know if I'd visited the site before I started using AOL's chatrooms to meet guys. I hadn't given it any thought until AOLers would IM me to tell me their straightacting.com score. Poor horny guys thought it was a passport of butchness. There's nothing less masculine than fretting about your masculinity.
The lower the number the more straight acting you are. The highest score is 1. Knowing they were my aesthetic and cultural enemy I'd sometimes tell one of them that my score was "0" because I never went to the site. Only an insecure queer would
After moving in with Charles I felt free to go and take the test. As an attached man there wasn't any question of doing it to prove something online. My score:
LEVEL 2 -- VERY STRAIGHT ACTING
Hardly anyone would be able to pick you as a homo boy. All your actions are carefully crafted in a way that they never appear to be considered too femme. Only a fellow level 2 -- buddy might suspect you with the proper gaydar and it's just the way you like it.
It says a lot about this quiz that my manliness is "carefully crafted."
I'm not the kind of guy who could say "Go girl!" But I didn't go to Butch U. To quote the immortal Popeye "I yam what I yam." It is a godawful thing to brag about. Maybe I'm a coward. Perhaps I have a personality defect.
I don't really have a big argument with these guys. If your ideal man hauls furniture for a living, never uses deodorant, and thinks American piss, sorry, beer, is the drink of choice, have a good time.
It is just so laughable to take it seriously. Particularly when you use the results of a pretty vacuous quiz to advertise your desirability.
The questions are already fading. I'm sure that I don't dance was a real plus on the butchness scale. But I don't because I'm clumsy and was too timid to learn. At least one question was quite repulsive. Basically how visibly do you show your affection for another guy around straight people. I'd actually expected better. Not much, but a little.
There is a questionnaire for women, in case some of you are worried that you show a dreaded taint of lesbianism.
On well, once a zero, now a two.
I went back and answered the Gal's Quiz. I skipped about a fifth of the questions: I don't have a favorite holiday, don't know the places in the fashion question except for The Gap, nothing for accessories or role models. So I started over and lied:
Your score is 94
LEVEL 1-- VERY FEMME
You are all woman but every once in a while you leave the house without wearing lipstick! You like cheering your girlfriend on as she plays in her weekend softball league and you look forward to making the onion dip for her yearly Superbowl party! But, you've read "The Second Sex" 10 times!
To get this I said I drink chai tea, have a pic of Ann & Ellen on my wall, had a pedicure, love Valentine's Day and chose Martha Stewart as my role model.
I wonder how many women have ever been to this site?