This is My Life?

» Love and Lust

It has been about five and a half months since Alex was last here.

Is that why I’m feeling this way?

When I come home I mostly want to just go to sleep. I want it to be the next day and to go to work.

But at work I just want to go home.

When Alex was here my urgency to return home was rooted in the desire to be near her again.

Now I open the door and wonder why I could’ve ever wished to return to this cluttered desert where anomie meets chaos and all I see is filth and a lack of desire to live.

Not that I want to die. But I look about me and resent the need to feign an interest in going on another day. I live because I’m a coward: too weak to make myself dead.

But were Alex here I’d be as happy as a puppy biting itself in the back of its neck.

How do you feel?

Feel free to share your feelings about This is My Life?. Please stick to the theme of the entry. Disagreement is fine. Homophobia, racism, and kindred expressions of hatred will be deleted. This site is one of my hobbies. I genuinely enjoy hearing from people and hate moderating or killing comments. Forthright disagreement is fine as long as it is civil.
My thanks,
Richard

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Richard Evans Lee
116 East Davidson
Durham, NC 27704

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