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While the nations of the earth wait to discover if Robbie Williams is gay or not let us talk about sex again.

Gay sex that is.

One of the things about other queer men that has often baffled me is how readily the discern what they want. From the moment of discovering their lust for their fellow man they seem to know whether they are fellator or fellatee (the latter word doesn't appear to exist but I'd say that is a sign of the erotic impoverishment of dictionaries: surely there should be a word for going down on a man).

Or sodomizer or sodomitee (again we bemoan the lexicographical absence).

When I came out I knew that I wanted to shove it into all available orifices. And to have it shoved into my readily available openings. Well, shove implies force. No criticism of a strong urge to shove it in or be shoved into. One might as easily like ascending, descending, or simply gliding parts together.

As much as I like a guy's butt I enjoy every part of his body. Don't see a contradiction between fucking a guy in the face and having him ride me like a horse.

Though I'd rather be on top I've always assumed that what the personal ads call versatile is the norm. Despite the evidence that gay men are a bunch of cock-worshipping bottoms. I've always figured the latter was some sort of epistemological bias.

So, do you think most gay men are versatile, mostly a species of bottoms or the tops are all in hiding?

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i know i live in a city of bottoms, so it’s hard to gain perspective (not having covorted around outside my municipality). i’ve had to be both, more recently the top even though i always felt my tendency was toward bottom. thinking back on it, most tops i’ve dated have ended up on the bottom towards the end of the relationship. hmmm, so either i really am a top or they’re all just lazy. i tend to think the latter. then of course, maybe i am just lazy too.

My own perception is that more gay men would rather be on the bottom than top. But I’ve tended to assume that I’m biased because I greatly prefer being on the top and being tall, hairy and masculine have probably attracted bottoms.

In reality, I’m versatile. But when I was in chat rooms tricking, I never got much response by advertising that. As soon as I put “top” into my chat name and in my profile, I had bottoms crawling out of the woodwork to introduce themselves.

In my experience, the world is filled with bottoms.

My small-town/rural world seems to be filled to the brim with bottoms. Though quite a few people do get more versatile with age. Quite a bit of the top population of my age group is sequestered in marriages and only comes out to play when the wife’s away (why would she be away?). I’m not keen on being a screw on the side for those guys.

But yeah… a good top can be worth his weight in lube! Or is it condoms? LOL! Is it any wonder a bottom can be so bitchily possessive about their top?

We should start a recruitment drive for more gay tops. Isn’t that what is expected of us by the fundies, anyway?

Whatever a man thinks he is goes out the window once you give him some alcohol.

And that’s all I have to say about that. :)

I’m 40. When I first started having sex in my teens, I was exclusively a top. When I met the man I would eventually marry (14 years ago), he was a top, too. So, I bottomed out. I’m now a selfish bottom and prefer it.

Don’t know what that means, but there it is.

Great Web site!


It doesn’t have to mean anything. I’m exploring my own failure of sexual empathy. I’d rather be on top but have bottomed with pleasure. And I’m unable to grasp why a guy would only want to be on the bottom.

I’m not criticizing anybody (in this entry) just trying to pull other folks sexuality into my mind in an effort to be able to feel what they feel.


Pittsburgh is a very top city. There are plenty of bottoms, but there are always extra tops waiting at the bar at the end of the night. I would guess it is primarily attributed to the machismo working class mentality of Pittsburghers. For many being a bottom seems to make one less of a man (I do not agree). They already feel less ‘manly’ because they are gay, and this allows to proclaim they are still as much men as they ever were.

Well, as a top I’ve never had any particular difficulty in meeting bottoms, but I couldn’t say if that’s due to being tall with a hairy chest, or sending out the right signals, or just what. I do know that as a top with a nice butt there was a while there that I took to “flagging” keys and/or bandanna, ‘cause if one more dork swaggered up to me and grabbed my ass like he owned it and was the best thing that would ever happen to it, I was gonna deck him. I think the numbers are roughly equal, myself - dunno about those crazy versatiles, though. :-)

I’ve had similar experiences for the same reasons: I’m tall and have reasonable amount of chest hair and seems to send out the signals that draws bottoms.

It was in online chatrooms and IMs that I got the impression there might be more bottoms than tops. You see more looking for “an in charge top” than looking for bottoms in the online forums.

I’m one of those crazy versatile gay guys. Though I’ve only gotten a real thrill out of being on the bottom maybe twice. Otherwise it is merely pleasant. I suspect that I might’ve enjoyed being on bottom more if the guys I let top me were better at getting me aroused. Get me aroused and there’s no part of my body I won’t share.

With me it depends on who is the more masculine of us two. I enjoy putting the meat to those less masculine than I am as well as having the fems rim me and even lick my sweaty smelly feet, but I’m not about to let a fem put its meat to me.

On the other hand if I meet up with a bearded balding glasses-wearing, nail-chomping he-man of a truck mechanic type who wants to fuck me, you bet I’ll be on my knees with my head under his gut (if he’s fat) and my nose buried in his pubes sucking him dry, or laying on my stomach with my legs spread for him to mount me, shove it in me and use me for his sexual enjoyment. As for men similar to me, I’ll gladly 69 with him and/or trade fucks as well. Of course, if the man similar to me is a top or bottom I’ll do what he wants whether he wants to dick me or if he wants mine in him.

I find the whole “tops” and bottoms” phenomenon to be quite interesting really. I tend to agree with one commentator here in that most “tops” will very agreeably become “bottoms” for a big dick that has some experience behind it. I, myself have always considerd myself to versatile. Even though I find myself in the role of “top” far more often. Even when I intentionally go out looking for one of those elusive “TOTAL TOPS”. I meet them, they proclaim their total topdome, we get to it and as soon as I whip out my relatively large dick up go the legs. Foiled again by endowment! For me the joy of gay sex has always been in being able to experience all of what the orientation has to offer. And, I might add, I believe that any good “top” is only made better by the, at least occasional, journey into bottomdome. I know it has made me a better top fuck and has improved and refined my style over time. I just know what feels good and what doesn’t from experience on both sides of that coin. My comment here is this; I think if gay men would just be gay men and accept the fact that being a gay man means a full sexual experience we would free ourselves to explore other facets of intimacy and connection. But then, it is just sex after all isn’t it? If we were looking for love I suppose we would be straight.

I don’t find large penises exciting; I like small ones.

It is just sex for some straight, bisexual and gay people. For others it is love and romance. Or a mix.

I don’t know about others but I am all total bottom and proud of it !!!! I’ll serve a man all my holes and love doing it.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Versatile?.

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