Youngest lust?

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Surely we aren't sexual at four. Heck, maybe we are. Lassie is probably still a recognizable name. At least a couple of versions have been in rerun recently and there is or was a recent recension of the TV show.

Jeff, Lassie's first boy pal is one of the earliest things I remember from TV. His mysterious vanishment, replacement confused me and left me unhappy when I was a little kid (whether during the show's first run or as a very early syndicated rerun I don't know).

First pretty young man I ever saw?

Unclearly I felt his replacement was inferior. I wondered where Jeff had gone. (Caveat for morons: at the time I'm writing of I was younger than Jeff.) I doubt my fond regret was lust (unlike Giton). Even a child can appreciate na´ve formal qualities; Jeff's simple face was pretty.

But halfway between when I first saw him on TV and now I couldn't help but feel startled by how perfectly he embodied the qualities I first found appealing in other guys: blonde, variously pouty, na´ve, forthright - always symmetrical. There was an erotic harmony but not lust - if you can grasp the distinction. There's a wonderful aesthetic space where the beautiful face is more like a kindness, a Platonic ideal flickering in the cave than a mere bodily obsession.

Never to dismiss the flesh's hunger. But ( - and this was only meant to be a short note about the picture - ) there are a couple of ways in which I most strongly feel a disconnect with most people. The first, humorlessly, is that few people scrutinize their experience as a biologist (with no vested commercial interest) would a double blind, placebo-controlled laboratory experiment. Second: lovely bodies are possessed of the same disinterested seductions the mathematician sees in an elegant proof, or any of us in a rose or sunset.

Started as a quickie reminiscence but ended as a satisfying rant.

Do you have any idea of your earliest experiences of beauty, of sexual attraction?

I'm not a pederast

Since I rarely criticize anyone's sexuality, I'll just say that I've never wanted to fuck a sunset or sodomize a rose. I did exchange a couple of emails with a guy on the theme:


Youthful sexuality & age of consent

[Listening to: Bronski Beat - Communards - Run From Love - Jimmy Somerville - (3:58)]


Shame, you filthy pedophile! How old are you that you should lust after a little boy!

Obviously that is teasing, i love the flames i get from people who cant possibly have read more than the operative word in any of my blog entries, and certainly dont consider abstractions…god its a book you sold me that’s got me on this kick.

I remember Joshua Biddle from the fourth form back in Norman Oklahoma. He was one of those vigorous boys, with sandy hair and peasant muscles. I used to dream about him a lot, and when he wasnt in school, I’d run all over town to take him his homework (even though I had no idea where he lived). I’d wander the streets of that suburb of OKC, without any real goal (I was too young to know about anything sexual—though I did have an innate knowledge). Before that there was Mitch Gaylord, who became my blood brother in 3rd form after we cut our wrists and held them together. He and were pals, which wierded everyone out (as I see in reflection) because we were from different races, something not so odd in Berlin, but odd to our respective parents. There were a few girls I put my wee wee in under the stairs at school, but I dont remember their names—my memory of attachments doesnt go too much further back, though there was a neighbor in New Braunfels, Texas who accused me of pulling his girl’s panties off, and I hadn’t the faintest idea what he was talking about…I guess now that he did it, and needed to accuse someone else.

My youngest lust was probobly Haley Joel Osment and Jonathan Lipnicki on the Jeff Foxworthy show. I always used to imagine what they looked like naked and crossed my fingers every show that there would be a shirtless or barefoot scene with them in it.

Never saw the Foxworthy show but I imagine the feelings are the same at any time or with any particular instances.


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