18 Months ...

» Loving a Transsexual , » My Life is an Open Blog

The last eighteen months have been so draining and demanding. Not that it has all been bad. There’s having my old friend Sendy become Alex my beloved.

But about a year and a half ago I wrote an entry about how Charles - my then lover - didn’t read or comment on my site.

My feelings for him began to die that day. That he wouldn’t read or comment on what I had to say cut me deeply. I’m a verbal man and I need words in response. I felt unloved.

Not that he didn’t love me. But he didn’t in a way that meant enough for me. The day I crystallized those thoughts in words was the day I was ready to leave him.

Not knowing he’d become a crack addict, that I’d have Sendy/Alex in my life. That Charles would die.

I hope my next eighteen months are more serene, pacific, quiet, fulfilling.

Richard | November 29, 2005 •
Prior: 300 Mg of Zyban
Next: Catholic Psychologist: Gay Sex of No Value
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I know that feeling. Dennis used to call every few months and asked how I was doing. And I felt it was a little redundant reiterating everything I wrote on my website just because he “hasn’t visited my website and never bothers to read anything I have written.”

The fate of Charles was unfortunate. Very little can be done about the past. Nevertheless we’re ALL glad that you are still here today and with us!

take care my friend, Pristine

Posted by: pristine | November 29, 2005 6:48 PM

Heck, even I’m glad I’m still with us today. There were times when I thought Charles would be the end of me.

Posted by: Richard | November 29, 2005 7:24 PM

How do you feel?

Feel free to share your feelings about 18 Months .... Please stick to the theme of the entry. Disagreement is fine. Homophobia, racism, and kindred expressions of hatred will be deleted. This site is one of my hobbies. I genuinely enjoy hearing from people and hate moderating or killing comments. Forthright disagreement is fine as long as it is civil.
My thanks,
Richard

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