Crack addiction: relapse

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The road to recovery is paved with relapses

As The Boyfriend was saying too often. Unsurprisingly there was a relapse. While he owns his portion of blame so does his psychiatrist.

When he returned from his second visit with his new psychiatrist I was strongly sure a relapse would be in the making. This was only his second time with her. If you are on Medicare Duke University Medical Center rotates you through residents, you don't get assigned to permanent staff.

The shrink renewed his Klonopin, Anafranil and gave him a new prescription for Neurontin.

He'd been without each for varying length of time. I knew a fresh does of Klonopin would loosen him up. His problem with the drug is that when he's upset he'll take more than prescribed, run out early, suffer mightily - really the level of depression is awful - and then bounce back a little too much once he's able to get his next month's supply.

The Boyfriend was taking Neurontin when I first met him. It had been prescribed as a mood stabilizer. For mood stabilizers to work you have to take them in a fixed, regular dosage. He'd often skip his Neurontin, and then when he was worried about something he'd stoke up. That always sent him into a hypomanic high. He wasn't worried but there'd be a mess, physical or social, to clean up.

He stopped taking Neurontin. But it was prescribed again by the head of UNC-Chapel Hill's Headache Clinic. The drug is very effective at controlling pain. But the protocol was for him to take 200 mg. of it three or four times a day.

The pseudoscientist at Duke gave him one big 800 mg. pill to take at once. The moment he told me that I knew it would leave his inhibitions so unrestrained he'd go out and by crack.

I woke up the next morning to find out that I was too gifted a prophet.

About $200 later he's back in Raleigh without money or car. Now that he has a credit line with every crack dealer near our little part of Northgate Park, Durham, NC my choices would be limited to killing him or trying to have him thrown in jail.

I've known plenty of junkies but I never saw one in withdrawal. But I did get to see The Boyfriend going cold turkey after just a day or two's heaving crack smoking. Ugly and frightening.

On his return The Boyfriend goes into the Durham Partnership's Intensive Outpatient Therapy. If he relapses again my only choices will be to move out of my own house or seek to destroy him.

It does mightily annoy me that if I knew giving someone with a drug addiction that much Neurontin that the professional with alphabet soup after her name didn't.

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I’m sorry to hear about that…


He’s actually in an intense therapy program now. Maybe it’ll help. I just don’t know.


Richard, trust me, he’ll be fine, he’s lucky to have someone like you there to provide love and support. I have bipolar disorder and am medicated and also had a history of coke/meth use - But have been clean, calm and under control for almost 2 1/2 years.

i hope every thing works out. im sitting here crying my eyes out right now because my son is out there right now smoking crack. i am also a reovering crack addict that wouldnt touch the shit if my life depened on it.

I am happy to hear some positive; I just left my 23 yr old dtr in a reahb center, and she is an alcoholic and addicted to crack and meth and this is the first time she has gotten help! She has a beautiful little 2 yr old dtr and she has many law charges, one of them being, child endangerment/drunk driving and she still went on to “use” until she got busted by the Narcs, and caight with possesion of meth and crack………. her hubby is in rehab in order to stay out of jail, which is why she is in rehab, and he slit his throat and wrists…….( he walked out of rehab) to be with HER!! then when he had to go back? He tried to kill himself!! Didn’t want to be withot her!! And now he will get out in one month and is planning on moving where ever she is!!! Now I am learning about “addiction” and I am so scared that she will relapse…….I read that 93 % do relapse….. So I am glad to hear that some DO recover.well alot probly do, I hope my little girl does recover……..Of course I do…..but…..not alot of faith here…… I am a grandmother who is raising a 22 month old grandson, as my “other” dtr went to prison……. She is 21, and OUT now and using and drunk everynight……..not caring about HER lil boy either………. if anyone has anything to offer me here……I would really take it to heart…….and be grateful……I would !!! Sometimes I think I will just go crazy!!! And then I get up in the AM and just seem to keep going…….. I am tired and heart broken……. I love MY kids like any parent does…… WHY WHY WHY??? Is always the question of the day………

thanks for reading and commenting…….

so proud of all that have kicked addiction…..


Hi I am new to computer I was a 17 year old nurse who loved to ride my own harley. well I got hit and put in a coma for 3 months now 19 surgeries later neurotin has been my miracle drug My arm was almost amputated my face totale reconstruction and I finally got ok with life it was so hard so for all people before me and after me with such trauma god be with you and thanks for hearing me Lorie

I to have a drug induced boyfriend and it sucks. you keep thinking that they well get clean and don’t. after three years and having him steal from me and having a nightmare of this being the rest of my life. I’m done,I’m addicted to him like he’s addicted to crack,but Ican’t do this anymore, it makes you think that your crazy. Kim

I am an addict not doing drugs. At the moment. An addict never recovers. All we can do is stay away from the drug. Do not count on us. Move far away from us and get on with your own life. We will say anything (lie) to get you to stay with us. We hate ourselves and secretly wonder what is wrong with YOU that you stay around us. We are addicted to drugs, you are addicted to us. When we get high we can escape ourselves. You can’t escape us. I actually think you are sicker than we are.

I wish this wasn’t true but it is. sorry.

I have been married for 15 years, have 3 children 9, 6, 2. My husband is a crack addict. He got clean 4 years into our marriage and stayed that way for 3. Then he started drinking again. Last year he started with crack again. He is still holding down a job but is using 3-5 times a week. I don’t know what to do. He refuses to do a residential program and hasn’t been to a meeting in months. I am currently not working and in grad school, so we depend on his income. I need advice from someone who has been there. Should I kick him out and hope he quickly comes to his senses? Should I let him stay and ignore him? Thanks for any advice.

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Crack addiction: relapse
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