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Charles is in the living room lighting tea candles and play with his crystal. Hard to believe a year ago we were in the middle of the worst stretch of our life together. I began and ended every day wondering if I could tolerate another day.
These last few months he’s steadily grown clearer, more able to govern his impulses. Almost dying is an edifying experience if anything is.
He still needs plenty of growth. For some people restraint and patience are merely the largess of their upbringing. For others it is a hard victory over ever weakness.
As I’ve said before one of the chief goals of my life nowadays is to feel that if I were hit by garbage truck tomorrow Charles could cope with the routine business of life without me.
He’s not there yet by a long nor am I sure we’ll manage to stay together. But we’re doing what we can.
Now I have to go back and give Charles my opinion about some of his crystal. My opinion is simple: if he likes the piece it is fine. If he doesn’t then nothing else matters. But he’s looking for more pretence of expertness than that.