Death of an ex-lover
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Charles Alan Cagle
1973 - 2005
His body lay athwart the entry to my dining room. I reached down and shook his shoulder. No response. Is he dead I wondered.
Scared I went to the corner store and bought a pack of cigarettes and a Coke.
Back home I shook him some more, slapped his butt, called his name. Not a flinch or peep.I dialed 911. The paramedics’ electric pads couldn’t revive him.
Charles had died of his third drug overdose. This time of dilaudil.
Detectives arrived, crime scene personnel in their wake. When the latter had finished the meat wagon arrived.
I retreated to the rear of my house and cried. Thankfully Alex was there to comfort me.
Perhaps it is some vestigial masculine conditioning: I don’t like to cry in public. My tears were brief.
As the body bag glided past I was screaming to myself silently “My little boy. My little boy.”
Comments
I’m sorry Richard. I’m glad Alex is with you there now.
Posted by: Derek | July 22, 2005 8:38 AM
I just want to offer my condolences, for what it’s worth. I’m glad you’re not alone right now.
Posted by: François | July 22, 2005 5:42 PM
I’m so sorry to hear about this. I’m glad you’re not alone at such a terrible time. Take care.
Posted by: SeeingI | July 23, 2005 10:46 AM
I’m so sorry, Richard. Take care and I hope you have some quiet recuperative time. I too am glad that you have Alex there, and Gordon to make things a little gentler.
all my best, Pristine-Felix
Posted by: Pristine | July 23, 2005 12:59 PM
I am so sorry that this has happened, Richard. It has been such a tumultuous few years and you have such a generous heart. Thank you for telling us what happened, I know that it was painful. My heart goes out to you.
Posted by: Teri Lee | July 23, 2005 1:38 PM
you are in my thoughts and prayers…
Posted by: blkgriot | July 23, 2005 4:06 PM
I’m so sorry.
Posted by: Sarah Lee | July 24, 2005 11:12 AM
Richard,
I’m really sorry to hear about what happened. I hope you are OK and am glad you have Alex there with you right now.
Hang in there.
Time will help to make things better.
I promise.
Take care, -Frank Merenda
Posted by: Frank Merenda | July 25, 2005 7:27 AM
I’m sorry about your loss.
Posted by: Lorna | July 25, 2005 8:49 PM
Oh my gosh, Richard. What a terrible thing. You’re in my heart and thoughts.
Much love, Candy.
Posted by: Anonymous | July 26, 2005 7:35 AM
Dearest Richard, i know You only from your LJ posts and your writing, and yet, strangely, i feel that you are somehow a friend. At this moment, in my mind, i am holding you and hugging you tight.
Posted by: jimmy the andro angel | July 27, 2005 4:59 AM
Richard, I’m very sorry to read of your loss. It’s a shit. My thoughts are with you in these dark times, and wishes of strength to help you get through them. Take care, Geoff
Posted by: geoff | July 29, 2005 11:26 AM