Don't weep for me ...
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Having recently summed up all the unhappy parts of my life with my ex-lover it finally hit me how bitter I must've sounded.
Actually I'm out of the worst of it. I have lots of work to do if I want to reclaim an acceptable life. But in the old 17th / 18th century sense I'm philosophical about all that. I could call it a learning experience but that is just new age crap. No sensible person wants that kind of education.
My attention is mostly focused on tedious practical necessities. Health, cleanliness.
With my own blend of stolidity and whimsicality I'll focus on getting on with my life. It would be a waste of whatever time I have left to pout and fret like a spoiled brat.
How do I feel about him? I still love him. He still needs me. I can't give him as much as I once would. But I'm always here to reassure and advise him.
So I'll work to make my life better. And to get back to the unfinished books, the CDs I've never listened to or listened to well enough.
I don't need recovery, therapy or psychiatric biochemistry. Humbug for people who are covertly perpetuating what they've lost by lingering over it.
I already threw too much of my life away in shock over lost love. That was very educational. I spent too long learning the lesson. I don't need remedial classes.