I live with a crack addict

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Tapping the arm of my chair. Where to begin, where to end.

I think I'll make this an atypically short entry. I can't decide if I'd like to try to sum it up in a big entry or ten little entries. Or drip it out in drops and snippets.

The grim, displeasing truth is that I've discovered that I am living with someone who became addicted to crack cocaine.

In seeking to discern what I want to share there are so many open ended questions where I've yet to decide how much I ignored. Could I easily have put all the bits together sooner. Most likely.

For now I'll simply state the ugly bald fact. For a few months I've been living with a crack addict. Unwittingly I've been buying a moment's worthless ecstasy for another person. A person who retreated into lies.

I need to decide my stance. How much was I a willing patsy, a chump. What degree of innocence can I assert. Somewhere in between how much responsibility should I take as a co-conspirator in someone else's degradation.

Real questions: na´ve, foolish, ignorant, willingly blind, unknowingly fooled. My questions are more about myself than him.

I'm not sure how much of this I should, will describe. Knowing me, eventually all of it.

You need to establish a vantage before you tell a story.

Comments

man… i feel the hurt and disappointment…. it hurts when we are let down…..

I’m sorry, Richard. For him and for you. I hope you find a path that will help you deal with this.

addiction is a special tear to shed.

I too have seen many fall and wither to the great power addiction holds. The sad and sorry oblivion that so many seem to never rise up from. One cannot blame themselves for this. You can only do your best, whilst preserving and protecting yourself. It is a tough place to be in, for both of you. My many wishes.

I hate that this has happened. I seriously hope that Charles is able to kick this (with or without you), and that you’re able to find peace (with or without Charles).

What an enormously frustrating wrinkle.

Dearest Richard, Sir…. i am so sorry for both You and Charles. As an alkie, i know the devastation of addiction personally. But the drugs (or the drinking) are but a symptom of the real disease. i know that i suffered from alcoholism even before i started drinking… i was a very disturbed child, and i believe it was inevitable that i would end up almost killing myself with alcohol. Crack is a particularly pernicious addiction, i’m afraid… and it turns nice people into liers, cheats and thieves. Crack addicts will sell EVERYTHING that they can get their hands on in order to get their fix. Please be careful, Richard, Sir. And call me anytime You want someone to talk to. hugs jimmy

echoing sentiments above, but also uttering repeatedly Fuck. As a past booze-drug addict, and as someone who has been involved in other codependent/fucked up relationships, it’s awfully familiar hearing some of these stories. I hope you take care of yourself, and are able to access the care that you need to change the situation - that may sound facile considering Charles has the addiction, but from what I’ve read, I know you’re thinking about these things anyway. For what it’s worth, you’re not to blame for any of the lies that Charles has given you, nor his addiction. If you need to vent, drop me a line. Do not feel as if you have to reply to this either. Good lcuk, good strength, good fortitude (rectal and otherwise, especially if you’re installing that soda fountain.) G

Geoff,

I’m lucky enough to have good friendships. One in particular that has been a part of my life for decades. There isn’t better care.

Right now I’m sort of on hold. Charles gets one more chance. That is it. There’s a flip side to the loving guy. There’s the cold bastard who’ll do what it takes to survive and get something harmful out of his life. I hope he doesn’t have to go to work but only having so many more years of life left I’m not going to let him suck me into an emotional ditch.

I certainlly understand this. My daughter is a crack addict. My 3 year old grandson is living in a filthy crack house with 10 other people, at least. After discovering more belt marks on his back, I reported my daughter for the 2nd time to family services. It’s been 6 weeks, and they have done nothing; my daughter just refuses to open the door to them. I feel so alone, I know there are millions out there like me, alone also; alone, without any hope of help. Now, she refuses to let me take the child to my home; I’m the enemy, not the druggie who abused him. I have to sit on the porch of a crack house and hole my grandbaby in my arms, and tell him I wish he could go with me. The sadest thing is he no longer tries to follow me from the porch, he just sits there, silently crying, tears running down his innocent face.

I met a guy a couple of months ago and we had a wonderful time. After a few dates and a few visits he purchased crack at a 7-11 while I was inside buying a beer. I know that I must let him go , but I must also take a real hard look at myself now. A part of me wants to help him, but I will simply walk away. I will work on my own issues. I can save myself. I cannot save him.

I just found out my husband of 20 years has been smoking crack for at least 6 months I did not have a clue until I relised we needed to file bancruptcy.He says he will stop but he wont let me drug test him nor will he go for treatment.When I look in his eyes I see that he is no longer there.My 19 year old daughter is having a real hard time with this.I havent told our son he is on deployment for months and thats hard enough on him.If he really wants help I am the wrong person I can not forgive the damage he has done all for a worthless drug.

This is all so new to me and your comments and insights have certainly shed light in my little world. I thought he had a chemical imbalance but apparently the symptoms are similar. His ex told me about the crack. I’m out. After all it was only a month…30 days on a roller-coaster. Maybe I’m not strong enough. How much do you sacrifice for something you cannot cure? He must do it, I realize that. Apparently I never knew who he was…there was never a time without booze (mostly) or drugs. I’m sorry I cannot stay to help you but I cannot be the only one trying. My thanks to all of you Advice welcomed and heeded Pasa

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about I live with a crack addict.
Thanks,
Richard

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