My friend of two worlds
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In the days when I wrote often about transsexuals and gay transvestites I sometimes wondered if I sounded like a tranny chaser or a guy with a fetish for crossdressers. The idea made me wriggle a bit within my own skin. I'd hate to think that anyone should be ashamed of the particularities of his sexuality.
Many of the men online at least with a passion for crossdressers, transsexuals or even feminine boys lie to themselves that they are straight. Another big group is the married bisexuals, weary of their heterosexual marriage looking for a little adultery (cheating on a partner you've made a promise to is one of the few sides of sexuality that disgust me).
Learning to appreciate gay guys who wear dresses was the culmination of an evolution from being conventionally queer to pansexuality. I still consider myself gay, a faggot, whathaveyou - I'm unable to identify as anything else.
It was probably in Yahoo's Gay Transvestites club (now egroup) that I asked if I should call a crossdresser he or she. The fellow who would write with many handles used the name Krystal Methburger. The name made me laugh. Back in Atlanta the Krystal Burger joint in midtown was the hangout of the methamphetamine freaks back in the 70s.
We'd bump into each other on Yahoo, eventually frequently in Yahoo's Fem Boys From Venus.
From him and his website I refined my own understanding what I could and could not find appealing in crossdressers. It wasn't that I found him embarrassingly and surprisingly fetching in a schoolgirl outfit (and still wonder at the source of the appeal). I learned that the most interesting and worth knowing crossdresser is necessarily one who is happy with his genetic maleness as well as his femininity. A rare species.
And we sometimes exchanged an email or few. My friend is a person of great compassion. I don't know if he knows it but during a black stretch after Charles and I bought the house he was the only person that I confided in.
Eventually I persuaded him to start a Live Journal. He's one of the world's deeply kind, honest people. At times I've feared that I've sounded like I was trying to give him a kick in the pants, to accept that much of life and many of mankind is just ugly.
On the chance that someone a crossdresser or a person interested in crossdressers might find this entry I want to post a link to his website - The Art of Not Passing
Even though we've never met I have the greatest respect and affection for him.