Rogue Spasms of Empathy

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Often it is only by indirect signs that we discover that we aren’t doing nearly as well as we’ve fancied.

In watching DVDs I find I’m feeling all sorts of exaggerated empathy. If they fictional folk are sad so am I. If they laugh I’m happy: but too much so.

On a conscious level I’m serene. But such strong responses to simple pop culture creations to which I’m not really attached suggests otherwise.

Much of my life has been an attempt to not forgo my strongly emotional nature without surrendering to the potential pits into which I might fall. To strive for a neat balance between a too tender heart and rational analysis. Too many people - myself certainly included - confuse the latter with coldness.

I want detachment without frigidity. And passion without too much heartache (some I accept as part of the bargain).

But I seem to be slipping and coming near to falling into the crevice. That isn’t acceptable. I hope my ambitions of keeping all of myself alive aren’t to beyond my reach.


I am analyzing what I am doing wrong and sometimes right, and wondering what I could do to consciously evolve and justify my being in this world another generation after my pop and mom. I am also a worrier, panicking at how little time I may have left on earth (regardless of age, more due to chaos in the universe). But I think as frazzle as I appear, I’m pretty serene deep down inside. I wish I can make more meaningful connections in person. But I come across aloof sometimes. Sorry for the chaotic post. I lost my job yesterday. Guess I’ll be posting more often!

;-) Pristine

I wish I can make more meaningful connections in person.

All too many of us wish that.

But I come across aloof sometimes.

From what little I’ve intuited about you at a distance and saw of you in person I greatly doubt that.

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