Cigarette Abandonment Watch Part 3
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Tomorrow is trying to quit smoking while using Zyban Part III.
Part of me - the self-indulging weakling - just despises the notion for never having a cigarette in my hand again. You slip two fingers about it, bring the fag to your lip and inhale. Umm … yummy …
The wise part of me knows that I can’t afford the cost. Even without health considerations I just can’t pay my mortgage, buy food and be a chain smoker. A wiser part of me is damned fed up with running out of breath.
And off in a corner is that sardonic portion of myself that often laughs at me as if it were another person. It is icily aware that I’d quit for years before I started again while living with Charles. And that I can do it again if I wouldn’t act like a whiny little boy.
I like the weakling, respect the wise part and always want to please the sardonic side of myself.
And I’m so very, very weary of enduring hours of withdrawal only to fail once more.