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Yesterday’s entry made little sense.
My excuse is that the Zyban was already making my brain cells bubble.
Been trying to decide how much today was shaped by the Zyban I started taking three days ago. Emotional flatness, sudden manic hunger, a headache that aspirin didn’t ameliorate.
Might’ve happened without the Zyban. (Zyban is Wellbutrin given a new name by a usage patent, one of the ways pharmaceutical manufacturers extract extended profits from drugs that become available as generics.)
Quitting smoking has become one of my highest priorities.
When my ex-lover Charles died my cigarette smoking ascended to its old highs: three or four packs a day. Even with a mild brand like Carlton this is crippling.
I hate it: the shortness of breath, the coughing, the lack of stamina.
I love it. Luxuriating in the coolness of the menthol, how it fills in idle seconds, moving the cigarette to my mouth and inhaling.
I can’t afford it. Really. The cost of my habit - even though the kind folks at the Joy Station as the nearby convenience store is called - saps up money I need things that will benefit me.
When I go to bed tonight I’ll destroy any remaining cigarettes.
When I arise tomorrow I’ll put on a nicotine patch.
Wish me luck.Warning: include(/home/edifying/public_html/pansexualsodomite//common/individual.php): failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/richardlee/domains/pansexualsodomite.org/public_html/archives/quitting_smoking/zyban.php on line 70 Warning: include(): Failed opening '/home/edifying/public_html/pansexualsodomite//common/individual.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/lib/php') in /home/richardlee/domains/pansexualsodomite.org/public_html/archives/quitting_smoking/zyban.php on line 70