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Yesterday’s entry made little sense.

My excuse is that the Zyban was already making my brain cells bubble.

Been trying to decide how much today was shaped by the Zyban I started taking three days ago. Emotional flatness, sudden manic hunger, a headache that aspirin didn’t ameliorate.

Might’ve happened without the Zyban. (Zyban is Wellbutrin given a new name by a usage patent, one of the ways pharmaceutical manufacturers extract extended profits from drugs that become available as generics.)

Quitting smoking has become one of my highest priorities.

When my ex-lover Charles died my cigarette smoking ascended to its old highs: three or four packs a day. Even with a mild brand like Carlton this is crippling.

I hate it: the shortness of breath, the coughing, the lack of stamina.

I love it. Luxuriating in the coolness of the menthol, how it fills in idle seconds, moving the cigarette to my mouth and inhaling.

I can’t afford it. Really. The cost of my habit - even though the kind folks at the Joy Station as the nearby convenience store is called - saps up money I need things that will benefit me.

When I go to bed tonight I’ll destroy any remaining cigarettes.

When I arise tomorrow I’ll put on a nicotine patch.

Wish me luck.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Zyban.

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Quitting Smoking
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