Only a fool forgets to pay his gas bill

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I've tried to break myself of saying that I'm depressed since that word became a marketing tool for psychiatric medications. Pharmaceutical marketing has wounded plenty of good words like depression and anxiety. You can still say you're shy because that is now called social phobia. Aside from spoonfuls nasty tasting red fluid prescribed to me when I was a little kid I've never taken medicine for bad moods.

Let us say the Pansexual Sodomite is glum. No, that sounds like Honeytom. I'm glum, not to mention disconsolate, discouraged, peevish, grim - you get the idea. Luckily I have a gift, somewhere between resilience and fatalism for coping with these phenomena. How I wound up in this emotional dumpster is a story I can't say that I'll ever tell.

Usually the worst effect it has is on my work, at the shop I sometimes surrender to stasis. At its worst I'm waiting to leave the shop hours before I go there. If I didn't work for myself I'd probably have been fired.

Usually. Arriving back at home yesterday I found that PSNC had cut off out gas. Checking MS Money I saw they had good cause. What I remembered as a payment to PSNC had been to Duke Power. And it being winter I owed them a surprising sum.

You might wonder how this could happen without me being forewarned. It is hard for me to sort how much my newfound penury stems from unhappiness or from the inverse. Months ago I stopped opening my mail. I know that the unread letters range from threats to falsely kind cajolery all saying give us money. Often I don't answer the phone. The people I care about email me. My telephone rings only when banks, hospitals, credit card companies' call to dun me (or Charles).

Compounding my carelessness in paying for the necessaries was my failure to deposit my most recent paycheck and tardiness in transferring over money from PayPal. That is taken care of now but it'll be a couple more days before the funds can be handed over to the gas company.

I have a couple more chilly nights ahead of me. And, wouldn't you know it, the weatherman says it will snow tonight.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't meant as a whine. I have a good-sized back catalog of screwups. This isn't anything more than an instance of stupidity. My young layabout self took baths and shaved using cold water in unheated bathrooms rather than work. The current edition will sleep under heavy blankets.


I’m not sure if this will make you feel any better, but there are intermittent snow showers here and I feel pretty crappy myself. The whole day has been crap. If I didn’t have a ton of reading to do I’d curl up and go to sleep right now. Cheers, m

And you’re not a fool.

Richard, you know, it makes two of us. I came home today and found that I had no gas. Amazing. I haven’t opened any letters either, so I think that might be part of it.

Lots of blankets, and you are not a fool.

Thanks for the kind words.

Brrr …

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Only a fool forgets to pay his gas bill
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