A lack of empathy isn't homophobia

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I'm not sure if the straight friend from whose email joke list I unsubscribed yesterday Understood my reply. He's a fine guy, my specific feelings were outside his range of empathy. A lack of empathy isn't homophobia. Even the kindest and subtlest have blind spots when viewing the emotions of others. An extract from an email exchange:

However, I can say with some confidence that I do not emphasize gay-expense humor.

Probably no more than the negro-expense and jew-expense humor. Er, sorry, that was an easy cheap shot that I couldn't resist (serious reply below).

If I'd spotted any really homophobic humor I'd have asked you to remove me long ago.

>>I don't grudge straight men this that much
> Meaning you do hold a grudge, though.

I would if I heard it but I've always seemed to live in a homophobia free zone.All of my friends, including you, aren't guilty of that. If they were I'd have nothing to do with them. I'm much more pissed at contemporary straight-acting gay men that any het man (Rev. Fred Phelps aside).

. . .

Unsubscribing was a matter of personal honor out of respect and in memory of certain people in my life. I suspect my sexuality, not that I'm gay, but the tremendous value that I place in certain kinds of gay men and their well-being isn't something you can understand (most gay men can't). I don't expect you to. It is like an alien trying to describe the color mwlapq.

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